Free All over Again by Lynette Ferreira Page A

laughs and I nudge my mare, she is obviously not as fast, but we manage to keep up.
    We ride far, never meeting another person and when Devlin stops he slides off his horse and waits for me, while smiling and pretending to be impatient.
    I reach him and dismount, jumping down onto my feet.
    We leave the horses to graze and sit in the grass besides them, the daisy scattered grass swaying in the gentle breeze.
    Devlin puts out his arm and gently he pushes me backwards, until I am lying on my back. He lies down next to me, and stares at the blue sky for the longest time.
    He suddenly asks seriously, “Have you ever tried to find the words to say something, but no matter what you think of saying, you know it might come out wrong?”
    “No.” I laugh.
    “I am trying to be serious here.”
    A quick frown flashes between his eyes. I try to stop laughing, but I cannot get rid of the grin on my face.
    He sighs. “Okay, fine, I am just going to say it.”
    He sighs again deeply, yet he says nothing and just continues staring up at the sky. I turn onto my side facing him and start tracing circles on his arm with my fingertips, looking down into his eyes.
    He looks at me and then looking back at the sky he says, “Don’t look at me that way, I have waited too long for you and today it was as if you never left.”
    He faces me again, looking sad. “If I kiss you now, take you in my arms, I will be selfish and not tell you what I need to tell you. Then one day in the distant future you might stumble across something that would yank your memory back and then you will hate me forever, for not telling you the truth from the start.”
    I have no idea what he is talking about, because I was waiting for him today and he saw me only yesterday, how could he have waited for me too long?
    He takes my chin between his thumb and index finger, slowly pulling my face towards him, while his face reaches up.
    I forget to breathe and close my eyes . J ust as I feel the soft touch of his lips on my own, he draws back and it is as if it never was.
    He settles his head on the ground again and sighs. “How can I tell you the truth when this is the miracle I have waited for? I know all about hope, but can I really wait to first meet you again in another lifetime?” He asks himself, more than me.
    He sits up abruptly and stares over the rolling hills. I now get worried; he was confusing me with words of lifetimes and waiting.
    He turns towards me and I can see fear and despair in his eyes. “Did you know Eilish is the Gaelic interpretation for Elizabeth?”
    “Yes, Devlin I do, I can speak Gaelic quite fluently and you know this?” I look at him frowning.
    “No, Eilish, you ARE Elizabeth,” he says , sadness clouding his eyes. “Eilish and Elizabeth is the same person”
    I look at him confused, sitting back from him.
    “What are you saying, Devlin? I am not Elizabeth, have you lost your mind?” I ask panicked.
    Softly he tells me, “You are Elizabeth, you returned to me today after centuries of waiting.”
    He smiles and looks away across the distant hills. “When you came stumbling into the forest almost a year ago now, just after you moved back, I recognized your soul immediately. Physically you looked different, but your eyes were the same. You were so sad that day, and as I sat there with you, I noticed calmness come over you. I was glad to make you happy, even if you could not hear my voice. I could always be there next to you, always make you feel safe, always make you believe that everything will be okay.” He turns towards me again, searching my eyes. “You cannot imagine my joy, when today as any other day when you come into the forest, I called your name – and you responded!” He reaches towards me when he sees the shock on my face. “I am sorry. I did not want to scare you.”
    I pull away from him.
    Pain etched across his face, he looks into the distance and starts explaining, “The last time I saw you as Eilish, was when