Free Piecemeal June by Jordan Krall Page A

fortune teller. Recently, in an epiphany of even better fortune, Ive given up that field and have taken up a new trade! The audience jeered as Steven began to do sloppy sleight-of-hand tricks involving live clit-fish that he secured from Simons pond. When he finished, the audience cheered, not in appreciation of Stevens tricks but for the fact that they were now over. He was not aware of this. Thank you! Thank you! Now, for the main event. Two new-comers to the Orange Dukkha. In this corner, he motioned to his left, standing five-foot-two and a hundred and twenty pounds, Max Fish-Faced Alexander! In the corner stood a monstrosity made of both animal and human parts. Maxs face stared up from a misshapen skull, his lips pursed together as if he just ate something sour. And in this corner, standing six-feet-four-inches tall and weighing two hundred and fifty pounds, Mushy Pop Popper Nebuchadnezzer! The audience screamed and threw tiny crab shells in the ring as a show of support. Simon sat silently, still lamenting June. Latrina came up behind him. Howre you feeling? He shrugged. How do you think? Oh, youll get over it. By the 71 Jordan Krall way, she looked over at the ring, I thought you were keeping Max for your harem? Simon couldnt help but laugh. Yeah, well I spent all day yesterday dragging him around the east side, letting the locals face-fuck him. So I thought Id give him a break and have Mushy have a crack at him. Well see how it goes. His eyes spotted someone across the room. Oh, there he is, you want something to eat? Coming through the crowd was a young boy holding a large fish. The boy stuck the fish down his throat andjammed it in and out, choking himself. Mucus dribbled out of his nose and as he pulled the fish out, its mouth filled with an assortment of cheeses. The boy made his way over to Simons table and presented the cheese-filled fish mouth. Would you like a treat, sir? The boy smiled with all the intensity of a roomful of hungry cats. Simon leaned forward and sniffed. He sniffed again. He cleaned out his nostrils with two fingers and then sniffed a third time. Smells like feet. The boys smile got wider. And your point, sir? THE END 72 Jordan Krall is a bizarro author and special education teacher. He lives in New Jersey with his wife, stepdaughter, and cat. His influences include film noir, true crime, Jim Thompson, Buddhism, Elmore Leonard, and squid. When he is not reading, writing, or teaching, Jordan is watching The Karate Kid Part III. Visit him online at www.filmynoir.com ,/,-.-..r.1.5..4......,2,...2.,, 4.,fie;:; "..-- 4-: ,:. .r,,,-,,, 1 -,.... r ' f. 4,=.--P.:-..0,5, 19, ,,,, , . ,.....Y.e,,4,;,..,,,1 '-;&.,Nr e.t r"4-?"-i;.. - r....rrr,2e-,,-14-_,'-445.4 #t.,': 4-tfidt5-, _ .04.: .r iJP, --,..-...--.., .....- izarro boo CATALOGUE - &ENG ?008 --,r`-- Bizarro Books publishes under the following imprints: RAW DOG NNW ti Okilj4F# 4' 4' e.. ,. 11 -- A,,I www.afterbirthbooks.com7- 41:4 .r., . , www.swallowdownpress.com ' '''"ti")* .0.0.1 ..01 .. , For all your Bizarro needs visit: WWW.BIZARROCENTRALCOM dag45': rr- ;# Introduce yourselves to the bizarro genre and all of its authors with the Bizarro Starter Kit series. Each volume features short novels and short stories by ten of the leading bizarro authors, designed to give you a perfect sampling of the genre for only $5 plus shipping. BB-0X1 The Bizarro Starter Kit (Orange) Featuring D. Harlan Wilson, Carlton Mellick III, Jeremy Robert Johnson, Kevin L Donihe, Gina Ranalli, Andre Duza, Vincent W. Sakowski, Steve Beard, John Edward Lawson, and Bruce Taylor. 236 pages $5 BB-0X2 The Bizarro Starter Kit (Blue) Featuring Ray Fracalossy, Jeremy C. Shipp, Jordan Krall, Mykle Hansen, Andersen Prunty, Eckhard Gerdes, Bradley Sands, Steve Aylett, Christian TeBordo, and Tony Rauch. 244 pages $5 BB-001The Kafka Effekt D. Harlan Wilson - A collection of forty-four irreal short stories loosely written in the vein of Franz Kafka, with more than a pinch of William S.