Free Concrete by Thomas Bernhard Page B

No Muxi, he always says, and when she’s closed the door again he leans forward and says,  She’s as stupid as they come! It’s always the same. I have to admit that I went to see the old man at Niederkreut out of sheer desperation, simply to free myself from the absurd idea of going away, of going away to Palma moreover, which was probably altogether the absurdest idea possible in my situation. I was simply exploiting him, to be quite honest, in my dreadful situation. He just happened to be the person I needed to put me off the idea of going to Palma. When I pulled the bell I heard the housekeeper coming to open the door to me. The gentleman is here, she said. I went in. I hope I’m not disturbing you , I said on entering the old man’s room, which the housekeeper had made cosy and warm for him, and as I uttered these words I was annoyed to think that they were precisely the words which are continually being used by my sister and never fail to make me angry because they are the most hypocritical in the language. The old gentleman got up and shook hands with me. Then we both sat down. I was just going to make myself some tea, he said. He was holding a book. It’s my reading time, he said. A silly book, something about Marie-Louise. My sister sent it me, but I must say I find it very dull. What things people write, without caring one jot about the facts! What are their qualifications for writing anyway? I had no wish to engage in a conversation with the old man on this subject, but as soon as I sat down, in expectation of a cup of tea, I was aware of my travel plans receding. Life’s not all that impossible here, I said to myself, and I looked at the pictures on the wall. That’s my grandfather, who was a Field-marshal and Commander-in-Chief of the whole of the southern Adriatic front, the old man said. But you’ve heard that hundreds of times, he added as the housekeeper brought in the water and disappeared again. Wars are waged very differently today, he said, quite differently. Everything is different today. He lifted the lid of the teapot and stirred the tea. As he did this he said, Everything has turned through a hundred and eighty degrees. This is an expression he uses constantly: no sooner is one with him than he finds an occasion for saying, Everything has turned through a hundred and eighty degrees. There are only thirteen people still alive who received the gold medal for bravery from the Emperor himself. Only thirteen, just imagine! At first he had considered leaving his property to his daughter, who lived in England, he said, but then he realised that this was nonsense. Then he had thought of leaving it to the church. But the church had disappointed him, so then he wanted to leave it to the state welfare service. But the state welfare service also stinks, he now said. There isn’t a single institution I would leave anything to. Or a single person I know either. And so I decided to send for a London telephone directory. What do you think I did that for? He paused, poured a cup of tea for me and one for himself, and said, I opened it at random — at page two hundred and three, as I later discovered — and, with my eyes closed, I put the index finger of my right hand on a certain spot. When I opened my eyes I found that the tip of my finger was resting on the name Sarah Slother. I don’t care who this Sarah Slother is - her address is 128 Knightsbridge. I’m going to leave everything I have to this address, no matter who or what is concealed behind it. My dear friend, that gives me the greatest satisfaction. As a matter of fact, I’ve already settled the legal side of this curious affair. When you come to think about it carefully, we just can’t leave anything to a single person we know , he said. At least I can’t. I was quite fascinated by the old man: I’d never have believed him capable of a thing like this. But what he said was true. The rest of the afternoon and evening was occupied with the