Free Bodies and Souls by Nancy Thayer Page B

and show me what is important in life.
    Money was what was important in life. Money was the most important thing. If she could have changed anything, she would have chosen to lose her father or her mother or her brother rather than to lose what her family had so stupidly, stupidly lost—their money.
    When she had been a little girl, there had been plenty of money, and all the nice things that it could buy: a canopy bed for her room, candy after school for her and her brother, bikes and roller skates, trips to the ocean, Easter outfits complete with white gloves and white patent-leather shoes. All of Judy’s friends and Judy’s parents’ friends had more or less the same amount of money, and it seemed in fact that everyone in their small New England town had the same amount of money, so for Judy as a child, life spread around her like the prosperous green fields which surrounded the town: as far as her eye could see, abundance was the rule.
    When she was ten, Judy had her first epiphany. She sat in church, not listening to the minister (he droned; he was boring). Instead, she moved her wrist in and out of the block of sunshine that fell across her lap so she could see the way her silver (real sterling silver) charm bracelet caught the light. And she realized why people came to church. It couldn’t be because they wanted to hear the minister’s sermon—he really was often boring! It was to see other people, to show off new clothes, to say thank you to God. Shewas not an especially spiritual child, but she did always remember to say thank you to God.
    So it seemed a personal slap in the face by God when Judy’s family lost their money. It was even worse because they lost their money because they followed their Christian beliefs. What fools they had been, Judy thought, what fools ! And she could never forgive them for their stupidity or God for His treachery.
    After her thirteenth birthday, life began to unravel with the determined rhythm of a pavané. Each step her parents took moved them further along the ritual of their undoing. They went bankrupt with unswerving grace.
    “Did you have a chance to ask Rupert about that bill?” Judy’s mother would ask Judy’s father as they drove home from church.
    “I saw him, but I didn’t mention the money,” Judy’s father would reply. “I don’t suppose church is the proper place to discuss business.”
    “No, you’re right,” Judy’s mother would agree, and then there would be a silence between the two grown-ups that was so powerful and sad that Judy and her brother, sitting in the backseat of the car, felt it chill their skins like rain.
    Later that year, Judy became aware that her parents spent less and less time entertaining people and going out with friends and more and more time sitting together in the living room, talking in low voices. The grown-ups did not like the children to hear their conversations, but of course Judy eavesdropped, as did her older brother; and they realized that a mysterious sorrow was taking over their family and they needed to know the cause.
    The cause was simple and crass. Their father owned a large wallpaper and paint store, the only one in their small town. Individuals came to the store to buy three rolls of this or a quart of that, but most of the business was with contractors doing major jobs for building developers. These men were her father’s friends; some even attended the same church. So when they asked for credit on their purchases, it seemed only right to give it to them, and then long-term credit, because of extenuating circumstances.… Judy was too young to understand it all, and her parents did not think to call the children into the living room to explain it to them. But what developed over the course of the year was that Judy’s father continued to give the men their wallpaper and paint in spite of the fact that these men did not pay him; and he continued to pay the conglomerates from which he ordered the paint and