Free Crash Into You by Kels Barnholdt Page A

and moves a little closer to me, wrapping her arms around me again, “because he needs to read this, Tor.”
    I pull away from her, was she crazy? There was no way in hell I could let Nathan read that. It was filled with emotions I never wanted to feel again, filled with days and nights I never wanted to relive, or be reminded of. I was in one of the darkest places of my life, why would I ever want Nathan to see that? Why would I ever want anyone to know that?
    “Are you guys both crazy? I can’t show him that!”
    “Of course you can,” Eric rolls his eyes.
    “You have to! Think about it, this is the only way to make him realize everything that was on your mind, only way to make him realize how much you cared about him.” Angelina’s voice is soft now, the kind of voice she uses when she’s trying to get through to me, trying to make me understand what’s best.
    Was she right? Was this really the only way? I have a flash of Nathan’s face in my mind, hurt and angry, confused and torn. She was right. I couldn’t see him listening to anything else I had to say. Not anytime soon, anyway.
    “Come on, it can’t get any worse, maybe this will help. And if it doesn’t, you’re no worse off than you were before.” Angelina’s rubbing my back again.
    I take in a deep breath. I know she’s right. I have to do what I have to do, but what if it’s not enough? What if I go in there, putting my heart on the line all over again, and Nathan still wants nothing to do with it? What if it’s still not worth it to him?
    “I’m scared,” I admit softly.
      “I know, but you can do this.”
    “You can totally do this,” Eric adds for extra support.
    Angelina places the journal gently in my hands, gives me a tiny hug, and then takes a few steps away from me, grabbing Eric by the shoulder to pull him after her toward the car. “We’ll be close by, in case you need us! You can do this!”
    And then they’re gone, pulling out of the parking spot slowly, almost as if they were never there to begin with.
    I glance down at the worn notebook in my hand, and sigh, forcing myself to walk back inside the hotel room before I lose my nerve.
    Once I’m inside, I close the door behind me, and glance toward the bathroom door, where the door is still safely shut. I gather up all the courage I have and walk slowly toward the bathroom. I place my hand on the door, sighing deeply, then crouch down and slide the notebook through the bottom of the door to the other side. Then I walk over to the bed, sit down, and wait for the worst.

Chapter 8  
    An hour and a half later, I’m still on the bed, feeling just as hopeless as ever. What if he fell asleep in there or something? Or what if he hadn’t even bothered reading it? Maybe it was still sitting there on the floor, or maybe he had even torn it up and flushed it down the toilet. God, what was he doing in there? It was so tiny; I definitely would have felt claustrophobic by now.
    I’m just about to text Angelina and tell her she should come back, that I have no idea what else to do when I hear the bathroom door click open. I shoot up in bed so fast that I feel all the blood rush to my head.
    Nathan’s standing in front of the bathroom door, studying me. My journal is in his hand; his hair is sticking up in a few different directions. He looks stressed, and still filled with a type of pain I wish I would never have to witness on him. His eyes are burning into mine, searching for some type of cure, some type of sense of everything he has just read.
    I feel tears start to form behind my eyes, and then he’s in front of me, in a few easy strides, reminding me of just how slick and graceful he is all over again. He’s so close to me that I can feel his breathing on my neck. I look down, nervous, and ashamed at the same time. He reaches his hand out and lifts my chin so my eyes meet him again. My body shoots electricity up and down every inch at just the littlest touch.
    His eyes burn