Free Mistrust by Margaret McHeyzer

right?”
    “Whoever sent me that picture, has probably sent it to you too.”
    I desperately want to look but I’m terrified of what might be there. Dread is bubbling away inside me, and panic prickles from my scalp down to my toes. “I’m not sure I can do this,” I whisper while still holding the weightless phone to my chest. “It hurts, Sam.” I look at her and see the same pain I’m feeling reflected in her eyes.
    “I know it does, but it has to be done.” I nod, agreeing with her. “I’ll do it.” She holds her hand out to me, silently asking for the phone.
    Hesitantly, I unfold the arm hugging my phone close to my chest. It takes me forever to find my courage, so long that I’m sure the moon is at its highest point for the evening. I know it’s not. Reality is outside of time for me now. “I’m not sure I can do this.” Gripping the phone I pull my hand back hastily. “I can’t.”
    “You have to know what’s going on. We don’t want to be surprised if anything is said in there.” Sam points to my phone. “Let’s get this over and done with.”
    She’s right. She’s always right. “I’ll do it,” I say taking a huge breath. “Okay.” I move to sit on my bed, and Sam sits beside me. She puts her hand on my thigh and gives me a gentle, reassuring squeeze. I turn my phone on, wait until it’s powered up, and enter my PIN.
    Messages upon messages, a register of countless missed phone calls all brightly display on the screen. First, I scroll through the missed calls. There are over forty of them, from practically everyone I know. There are also four calls from an unknown number which corresponds with what Mr. C said at school.
    “You need to look at all the messages too,” Sam says encouragingly.
    “Yeah, I know.” I meet her eyes for a moment before turning away completely consumed by shame. “Here goes.” My body violently reacts to the knowledge of what may possibly be on my phone. “Oh God,” I mumble as I roll through the messenger app. There’s a vast catalogue of communications, mostly my friends asking where I am and what’s happened to me. I’ve got messages from Levi, Reece, Jordan, Mariah and Lindsey as well. A few from Mom asking if I’m having a good time, and even one from Sam.
    Then there’s an unknown number with an attachment in the body of the message. My finger hovers over the message. I want to click and see what it is, but at the same time, I’m scared too. “It’s okay,” Sam says. She moves her hand from my thigh, and drapes it over my shoulder, bringing me in close to her. “No matter what it says, we’re going to get through this together.”
    I nod and offer her a weak smile. “Okay,” I worriedly sigh while letting out a huff of air. “I can do this.”
    “You can.”
    I touch on the message from the unknown number and it takes me to the top, the very first message. It’s from the night of the prom and it reads, ‘You’re a whore.’ The next message says, ‘You’re a lousy lay.’ My heart is frantically pounding, and my entire body is vibrating so violently I can barely control my hand as I try to get to the bottom of the message. The third message is the worst so far. It says, ‘You were moaning like a two-dollar hooker, but I’ll never fuck you again.’ There’s still more, but I can’t bring myself to look at it. “Oh shit.” I feel the phone slipping from my fingers and hear the quiet thud as it hits the floor. “What the hell happened?” I ask, but know there’s no one in this room who can give me an accurate answer.
    Sam leans down and picks up my phone. She stands and leans against my bedroom door. “I’m going to see what’s happening.” I turn away from Sam. Out of sight out of mind, right? But there’s nothing ‘out of mind’ about this. It’s completely consuming me. My life has been dramatically altered. This has changed me forever and no part of me will ever be the same. “It’s the same picture that