Free Tabula Rasa by Kitty Thomas Page B

and unlocked, and I got into the passenger side still
a little shaken from the way Shannon had just flipped to that
laser-focused place again. It was the same place he’d gone to when
he was cutting Trevor up into small, barely recognizable pieces, and
ideally I wanted him to spend as little time in that place while he
was around me as possible.
    More driving in silence while I stared out the window.
    By this point, I was seriously contemplating trying to find a phone
or make a weapon. How could I not? He kept putting the ideas in my
head. If he’d just act like a normal person for five minutes, I
might not be so paranoid.
    What was I doing? I should have let him call the shooting in—back
when it still looked like self-defense instead of like he was trying
to cover crime tracks. Maybe I should have just let the police get
involved and deal with the fall out and awfulness of being plastered
all over the news some more and trying to cope with memory loss in
the spotlight. Was my choice going to end up being... go to the
police or die? Framed that way, I’d made the most foolish of all
possible choices.
    I’d just been so overwhelmed and didn’t want to go to the police
or doctors or face a million questions and poking and prodding. I was
terrified someone would finally come forward claiming to be someone
close to me—someone else who might spin lies about my life that I
had no choice but to go along with. I hadn’t thought about what
asking Shannon not to make me face the world meant would happen next.
Nor had I realized how quickly he’d spring into action and start
hacking up a body like it was nothing. I mean... who did that?
    What did they say about snakes? They’re more scared of you than you
are of them? Shannon seemed in that category, like something had
rattled him out of whatever in his world passed for comfortable. Now
that it had happened, he saw me as a potential threat. And the last
thing I wanted was for someone like Shannon to see me as a threat. So
I sat very still and silent, hoping in another of his laser-focus
moments, he’d somehow forget my existence so I could slip away
quietly.

Chapter Four

    He drove a few hours before stopping at a run-down motel off a small,
barely marked exit. Half of the neon-lit vacancy sign was burned out,
but the point still got across.
    I swear every single thing Shannon did was like the lead-up to the
climax of a horror movie. Nothing was normal. It was all weird or
paranoid or terrifying. I wasn’t sure I wanted Shannon to continue
being my tour guide for life outside the park. During the drive, he
hadn’t made conversation, and he hadn’t turned on the radio. And
though, by the second hour on the road, I’d desperately wanted to
turn on the radio, I didn’t make a move for it because I had no
idea what he’d do in response.
    He’d taken me through a drive-thru where I could have screamed for
help but didn’t, then he’d treated me like a criminal at the rest
stop. I just didn’t know what to expect from him. And I wasn’t
sure knowing would be better anyway. It was Trevor all over again,
just in slightly different packaging and without a colorful
apocalyptic back story.
    Shannon turned in his seat toward me. The clock on the dash said
10:48. This probably wasn’t a place that kept a front desk person
all night. There was no doubt a bored clerk inside ready to go home,
annoyed we’d just pulled up.
    “I’m going in to get us a room. I’m locking you in the car. Do
not make any kind of scene. Do you see that kid in there?”
    I looked through the window he pointed at. A skinny college-aged guy
stood behind the front desk, watching the clock and sending a look of
derision our way. It was exactly the type of person I’d expected to
see.
    I nodded.
    “Even if you make a scene, you have no way of knowing that kid
wants to get involved in this. Not everybody is a hero. Most people
aren’t. And I’m really good at reading people. He isn’t a hero.
Are