Free Bulls Island by Dorothea Benton Frank Page A

in me was dead.
    Pathetic? Well, guess what? I was pretty sick and tired of being lonely and feeling remorse over something I could not have controlled, and Valerie appeared to everyone to love me to death. After the intense love I had felt for Betts and then lost in the blink of an eye, I would never risk that much of myself again. Too painful. Valerie was safe goods. She had some mileage on her, to be sure, but I didn’t care.
    It began to get around that I was engaged. I knew it was only a matter of time before Betts would hear about it and I wanted her to hear it from me. I mean, it didn’t seem right for her to discover that kind of news from anyone else. What was I to do? I knew her father and sister would be useless, so naturally I went to Sela.
    After Thanksgiving, Sela had returned to Charleston from Atlanta, where she had completed some kind of cooking school with the famous chef Natalie Dupree, and had just opened her own restaurant. Too early for supper, it was about half filled with tourists and locals seeking an afternoon hydration experience. I sat on a bar stool and waited for Sela to spot me, which she did almost at once.
    The conversation went something like this.
    “Hey! Sela! Congratulations on the restaurant! It looks great! How are you?”
    “Exhausted. We were here until two in the morning last night, doing the books and all that stuff. You?”
    No one had ever accused Sela of being bubbly, at least not around me. But she was civil, which was more than I could say for Betts’s family.
    “Good, good.”
    “Can I get you a drink?”
    “Yeah, sure. Whatever you have on tap is fine.”
    She poured out the beer and placed it on the counter with a thud. I could tell that she smelled something suspicious. Of course she did. Why else was I there?
    “So, what’s up, J.D.?” she asked. “You getting married to that little blond, um, blonde ?”
    I knew she wanted to say whore, but she did not and I was grateful for it.
    “Uh, yeah, we just got engaged.”
    “I heard that.” She paused and stared in my eyes so intensely it was unnerving. “Congratulations.”
    Hold your enthusiasm to a minimum, I thought.
    “Thanks.” We looked at each other and silently acknowledged that I had made a stupid, but almost unavoidable, decision. “Listen, I was thinking. I haven’t spoken to Betts since, well, you know, since she left, and I just thought she should hear about this from me.”
    “You’re right. Here’s her number.” She hand me a piece of folded paper from her pocket, which told me she had just been waiting for me to show up. “I always said you were a decent guy.”
    “Thanks. How’s she doing?”
    “Managing.”
    No point in elaborating, I thought. Sela had never revealed anything of consequence to me.
    Meanwhile, customers continued arriving and gathering around the bar area.
    She had to serve them, so I said, “What do I owe you, Sela?”
    “On the house, J.D. See you soon.”
    I put the paper into my pocket and couldn’t get to a telephone fast enough. My hands were shaking as I dialed Betts’s number.
    “Hello?”
    It was absolutely her voice. I was certain of it. God, what a thrill to hear it!
    “Hello?” she said again.
    “Betts?”
    “Who is this?”
    “It’s me. J.D.”
    Silence.
    “Betts? I have to talk to you.”
    “Okay.”
    “Betts, I got engaged…”
    “Really?”
    Her voice was flat. No emotion. Not angry. Not congratulatory. Just flat as she waited for…what? An explanation?
    “Yeah. I just thought—”
    “Well, good luck, J.D. Nice to hear from you. Thanks for the call.”
    Click.
    She’d hung up. Here’s the amazing thing. I would have bet my life that I heard a cat mewing in the background. I was positively sure that I heard the distinct sound of a cat. But Betts hated cats! Who cared? I had her phone number and that was all that mattered to me.
    Months later, right before the wedding, when I got cold feet, I called her again. I was