Free Losing Her by Mariah Dietz Page A

to notice the small, minute details that others missed. Our dad made sure to make every day special for each of us, always reminding us how much he loved and cared about us with words and gestures. Sometimes it was in large gestures, and sometimes with small ones, like stomping on the roof on Christmas Eve to keep a sense of magic, and bringing our mom flowers once a week for over thirty years. None of us were ready to see him go, but his memory will forever be a part of each of us, because his footprints are stamped all over our hearts in trails that will never be erased.”
    Her last words come out slightly garbled as she uses her palms to try to wipe the tears pouring down her red-stained cheeks.
    Ace slowly makes her way to the front from the right wing of the room, not looking at anyone as she slides behind the podium. Her eyes travel to the ceiling for a moment, as though she’s trying to gather herself. When she faces the crowd, it’s apparent she isn’t actually looking at anyone.
    “When I began writing this, I really struggled. How do I find the right words to describe my dad? The most beautiful and eloquent words can’t possibly begin to express how amazing, wonderful, and loving he was—and he was all of those things, but he was so much more. To some he was a doctor, to others a friend, a coach, a teammate, a mechanic, a son, a grandpa, and a dad.” I watch as she takes a deep breath, biting her bottom lip as her chin quivers. She quickly looks back at the ceiling for a prolonged moment. The pain visible on her tortured face makes several people tear up again, sniffling as they wipe their faces without discretion. “To me, my dad was all of those things, and so much more. He was my dance partner, holding me on his feet as we paraded around, ‘because that’s how princesses are treated,’ he’d say. He was my mentor and teacher, educating me on life, and love, and books. He was my milkshake after a particularly rough day, my strength when I couldn’t keep it together, my legs when I couldn’t carry myself to the end. But he was so much more.
    “My dad taught me to conquer my fears, no matter how large or small they are. And to reach for my dreams, regardless of how unattainable they seem. My dad was a superhero, a warrior.” The word leaves her and I can tell how much strength it required to get it out watching her jaw slowly stretch as she works to compose herself.
    “I loved him for so many reasons, but what I loved the absolute most …” She sniffs and two tears fall simultaneously down her cheeks “… was being his daughter.
    “My dad taught us all lessons about life and love, kindness, sharing, and humility. He was wise beyond all measures. He taught us to speak French, something we pulled out and dusted off each year when we saw our family. And the pride radiating from my grandfather, to my father, to us girls … I loved that feeling. I loved when he was proud of me. Thankfully, my dad always seemed to be our biggest fan, so it never took much.” Her lips press together in a firm line, the corners wavering between falling and lifting as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other. It reminds me of the first time I met Ace in my living room, something that feels like it was a hundred years ago, and yet looking at her now feels like it’s happening again.
    “It took me three years of playing soccer before I got brave enough to score a goal. My dad never cared, though. Each game he’d lift me up on his shoulders and dance around with me, win or loss, assuring me that the score isn’t the most important part of the game, it’s your determination, your heart, and your will, and that just by going out and working, I won each and every time.” I wait for the joke. She’s told me this story before, ending it with, “I always tried to have him explain this win-win philosophy to my coaches, because they certainly followed the scoreboard.” But it doesn’t come.
    “My dad preferred