Free Finding Me by Mariah Dietz Page B

tilts slightly as I try to recall where I may have seen him and wonder if his average build and nondescript features simply tease at the idea that I may have met him before.
    “Hey.” Blindingly white teeth allow the last puzzle piece to slide into place. I’ve stared at this same too-perfect of smile before.
    “You’re in my Organic Chemistry class.” His grin widens, confirming my recollection and making me wish that I hadn’t as he shifts closer to me.
    “Dude, if you’re going to hit on my girlfriend, at least wait until I’m not sitting right here watching.”
    Both my classmate and I look over to Danny. Bright White beside me scrambles to straighten his pose. “S-sorry. I thought you guys were just friends,” he stammers with a hard swallow. He looks at me once more and then silently backs away from the table, disappearing into the crowd.
    “You must be losing your edge,” Fitz chides, taking a long sip of water.
    “That had nothing to do with me,” he rebukes, flashing his smile again as he shakes his head and fills a glass with beer.
    “Thanks for that,” I say, reaching for the glass of beer that Fitz had poured me. Even though I hate the taste, I need something to break my unease, and I know I can trust Fitz to take care of me.
    “Yeah, no problem. You can’t blame the guy. Hell, I’d approach you if you were at a table with other guys to confirm if you were single, too.”
    I put my glass to my lips to prevent having to give a response.
    “I’m going to order some food. What do you guys want?”
    I turn to Fitz and silently plead for him to stay. After a comment like that, I can’t believe he’s considering leaving. A loud cheer erupts around us, filling the bar with more noise than seems possible, and I turn to take in the crowd and see their eyes fixed on the TV screens that have now all been changed to the same channel. The broadcaster introduces the contenders and I briefly watch the men walk up to the ring before I turn my attention back to Fitz only to find that he already slipped away.
    “You’re afraid of me.”
    My eyes cut to Danny who looks disappointed and slightly amused by his accurate account.
    “I don’t think afraid is the right description. I don’t fear you,” I explain slowly.
    “You don’t want to like me.”
    He has no idea how right he is, nor how incapable I am. Max still consumes eighty percent of my thoughts on good, functioning days.
    “But you do,” he continues, making my heart bleed in what I can’t decide is desperation for him to be right or a pang of anger at the possibility.
    “Believe me, it’s better that I don’t.”
    “Why is that?”
    “It’s been a long year,” I say, throwing a blanket over the flame inside of my head that always sparks when my thoughts veer too closely to Max. The crowd roars over my response, and I turn to see what’s going on.
    “Consider this me approaching you at a table with other guys.” Danny’s standing right beside me, so close that as I turn to meet his blue eyes, I can smell the sweetness of his cologne.
    “Now what?”
    His question brings a wave of chlorine and fresh air to wash over me as I hear Max’s voice echo the same question to me last summer. My back and thighs tingle with the memory of the blades of grass scratching my exposed skin and recall my hands yearning to reach out and touch him.
    My thoughts stop as I feel a foreign touch brush against my finger and look down to see Danny trace along my tattoo that reads, his . “Bad break up,” Danny states quietly.
    Max’s face slowly dissipates like a fog as Danny’s eyes search mine.
    “It’s been a long year,” I repeat, now that he can hear me with the crowd being a few decibels quieter.
    “Okay, I’ll play my cards,” Danny says, inching toward me as someone works to get between tables. “I want to get to know you. We’ll start as friends, no pressure. And when you’re ready to admit that you like me…” his smile turns