Free Fade by Lisa McMann Page B

nightmare. When she realizes it"s a sex fantasy between
    two fellow seniors who she really doesn"t want to see naked, she doesn"t
    stick around. She pulls herself out of it.
    Smiles triumphantly.
    Cabel"s watching her, and she gives him the thumbs up and flashes a
    smile. He grins back.
    Janie finishes all her homework for the weekend, so she jots down a few
    notes about Durbin and Wang.
    Correction: make that Happy and Doc.
    And then she sits there. Staring into space.
    Thinking about Miss Stubin and the green spiral notebook. Feeling a
    sense of…well…dread.
    ı
    On the way home from school Janie makes a quick dash into the grocery
    store to pick up some things for her house, so her mother doesn"t starve
    to death, and a few personal items for the weekend. She packs an
    overnight bag. Toothbrush, shampoo, and the massage oil and candles
    that she got from Captain. She shoves it all in her backpack and heads
    over to Cabel"s, leaving her mother a note on where to find her if she
    needs anything.
    They work out, shower, and then lounge side by side in the giant beanbag chair and talk about the day. But Janie"s having trouble keeping
    her mind on topic. She grows quiet, thinking about the green notebook
    and the assignment from Captain.
    Cabel notices.
    “Where are you?” he says after a while.
    Janie startles. Smiles at Cabel. “I"m sorry, sweets—I"m here.” But she"s
    not really there. She"s going over the Durbin/Stubin dream in her head,
    now more convinced it was a nightmare and not really a visit from Miss
    Stubin.
    Cabel sits up quietly. Watches her face. Clears his throat. Janie sees him suddenly, the one guy she wants to be with—and is with
    for the whole weekend—hovering over her. She shakes the thoughts of
    creepy nightmare Durbin from her brain and tilts her head to the side,
    grinning. “Oops. I did it again.”
    Cabel gives her a quizzical look. “I am totally not getting enough attention here.”
    Janie thumbs his cheek. Pulls his face to hers and kisses him, her tongue
    darting across his teeth playfully until she coaxes him to play along.
    A surge of something—love?—makes Janie"s skin tingle. But it scares
    her, too, when she thinks of her future, always with this dream curse
    hanging over her. She never thought she"d be with someone. Never
    imagined someone would sacrifice so much to deal with her strange
    problems. Wonders when Cabel will get tired of it all and give up on
    her.
    Desperately she pushes that thought aside. Her lips are hot against his
    neck.
    She tugs at his T-shirt and slips her quivering fingers under it, re-exploring Cabel"s nubbly skin. Touching the scars on his belly, his
    chest. She knows that Cabel feels the same way she does, sometimes—like no one would want to be with him because of his issues. Maybe the two of us really could last , Janie thinks. Misfits, united.
    Cabel"s fingers trace a slow path from Janie"s shoulder to her hip as they
    kiss. Then he slips his shirt over his head and tosses it aside. Presses
    against her. “That"s a little better,” he whispers in her ear.
    “Only a little?”
    The winter dusk of late afternoon falls into the room. Janie reaches for
    her blouse and slowly unbuttons it. Lets it fall open. Cabel pauses and stares, not sure what to do. He closes his eyes for a
    moment and swallows hard.
    She reaches between her breasts and unhooks her bra. And then she turns her face slowly toward him. “Cabel?” She looks into
    his eyes.
    “Yes,” he whispers. He can barely get the word out.
    “I want you to touch me,” she says, taking his hand and guiding it.
    “Okay?”
    “Oh god.”
    She pulls a newly purchased condom from her pocket. Sets the package on the skin of her belly.
    Reaches for his jeans.
    Cabel, momentarily rendered speechless, helpless, and thoughtless
    except for wanting her, sighs in shudders as he touches her skin, her
    breasts, her thighs, and then, as the light fades from the window, they are
    kissing as if their