Free Rodrick Rules by Jeff Kinney

have people watch horror movies and then draw pictures
    afterward to show how the movies affected them.
    But it was really just an excuse for Rodrick and his friends to watch a bunch of
    horror movies on school nights.
    [Image: A cartoon of people watching T.V.] "Scream! Chomp!"
    Rodrick's friends got the movie-watching part done, but they didn't draw a single
    picture. And the night before the Science Fair, Rodrick didn't have anything to
    show for himself.
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    So me, Mom, and Dad had to bail Rodrick out. Dad typed up the paper, Mom
    made the poster board stuff, and I had to draw a bunch of pictures.
    I did my best to imagine what teenagers would draw after watching violent movies.
    [Image: Drawings of a skull with a knife stuck in it and a fighting scene near a
    building.]
    The thing that REALLY stinks is that I caught heat from Mom when she saw my

    drawings, because she said they were "disturbing." And that's why I was only
    allowed to watch G-rated movies for the rest of the year.
    But if you want to talk about "disturbing," you should've seen some of the stuff
    Manny was coming up with those days.
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    One night, Rodrick accidentally left one of his horror movies in the DVD player,
    and when Manny went to turn on cartoons the next day, he got Rodrick's movie
    instead.
    [Image: A cartoon of a child watching T.V.] "Scream! Chomp!"
    I came across a couple of Manny's drawings after that, and some of them were
    enough to give ME nightmares.
    [Image: A picture of a monster.]
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    Tuesday
    Mom and Dad set up due dates for Rodrick on his Science Fair project, and by 6:00
    tonight, he was supposed to tell them the theme of his experiment.
    But at 6:45, things weren't looking so good.
    [Image: A cartoon of the parents seeing their child watching T.V.]
    Rodrick was watching a show about astronauts, and what happens to them after

    they've been up in space for a long time. The show said that when the astronauts
    get back to Earth, they're actually TALLER than when they left.
    And the reason is because there's no gravity in space, so their spines decompress or
    something.
    Well, that gave Rodrick the idea he was looking for.
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    Rodrick told Mom and Dad he was going to do his science experiment on the
    effect of "zero gravity" on the human spine. And from the way Rodrick was talking
    it up, you'd think the results of his experiment were gonna benefit mankind.
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy telling about 'the astronaut in space' to his parents.]
    Dad seemed pretty impressed. Or maybe he was just relieved that Rodrick actually
    came through on his first task. But I think Dad started to see things a little different
    later on when he told Rodrick to take the trash out to the curb.
    [Image: A cartoon of a person sleeping on the sofa as the man looks at him.] "I
    can't. I'm doing my research."
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    Wednesday
    Yesterday at school, they announced tryouts for the big Winter Talent Show.
    As soon as I found out about it, I came up with this AWESOME idea for a comedy
    skit that me and Rowley could do. But I admit the REAL reason I wrote it was to

    give myself an excuse to talk to Holly Hills, who is Heather Hills's sister and the
    most popular girl in my grade.
    [Image: A cover of a book which has three children on it and 'The Boy Whose
    Family Thinks He's a dog' written on it.] "The Boy Whose Family Thinks He's a
    dog
    Look, honey! Our dog is standing on its hind legs!
    I am a person not a dog!"
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    [Image: A cartoon of a girl talking to the boy.] "Hey, You're not supposed to be up
    on the couch, you dumb mutt!
    But I'm not a dog, I'm your son!
    Don't you growl me!"
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy and a girl holding the leash of a boy tied to him like a
    dog.] "We're off on a romantic vacation. I guess we'll have to put you in the
    kennel!
    But I want to go with you guys!
    Well, Woof woof woof to you, too!"
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    CREDITS

    WRITER-GREG HEFFLEY
    DIRECTOR-GREG HEFFLEY
    DAD-GREG HEFFLEY
    MOM-HOLLY HILLS
    DOG-BOY-ROWLEY JEFFERSON
    I showed