Free Knowing Your Value by Mika Brzezinski Page A

from achieving parity in the workplace. But were my own problems caused by gender bias? Have I been discriminated against in my career? Probably, somewhere along the line. But being angry and blaming men (and even high-level women) for holding me back isn’t constructive. I take full responsibility, and therefore full credit, for my career. My feeling is, I can only control what I can control. Instead of just being frustrated
about the wage disparities that exist in my field, I’d rather think about what I can do within the parameters of my situation. When it came time to take drastic action to resolve my salary problem, I wanted to find ways to take matters into my own hands.

CHAPTER 4
    ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR
A Cautionary Tale about Women Acting Like Men in the Workplace
    MY STORY, WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, HANNAH RILEY BOWLES, JACK WELCH, CAROL BARTZ, JOY BEHAR, SHERYL SANDBERG, SHEILA BAIR, SUSIE ESSMAN, MARIE C. WILSON, AND ARIANNA HUFFINGTON

ACTING LIKE A MAN
    F or months I had watched Joe cut his own deals and get what he needed for the show. Getting what he wanted meant engaging in loud battles with Phil Griffin on a regular basis. Phil was extremely close to Joe; they had worked together for years.
    Often I’d be sitting between them as it began. They’d lean past me and get in each other’s face. Invariably the exchange started like this: Joe wants to hire a certain producer or writer or analyst. Phil says no, there is no money. The volume goes up. Then they stand. Then fingers start pointing. There’s shouting. Growling. Even threatening. Joe threatening to quit; Phil threatening to fire him. Neither of them
meaning it. I watch spit splatter on the coffee table in front of me—I can actually hear it hit the table. Splat! As I study the drops, more come raining down.
    Soon they get up and stand face-to-face, me sitting awkwardly between them on the couch. They lean in over me, poking each other in the chest, with their faces red and inches apart. Then, as my own stress level escalates to its highest point, there’s a miraculous pivot.
    One of Joe’s talents: diffusing a moment within a blink of an eye.
    Joe offers to hug Phil and then fires one last question at him.
    “Phil, how the hell can the Mets win the World Series when their pitching is so spotty?”
    Phil responds as if the two had been calmly talking sports the whole time. As the spit dries on the table, they sit down and continue with a calm and friendly conversation.
    That would never happen with a woman. Never in a million years. No woman could survive a scene like that with her boss. Yet whenever Phil and Joe are negotiating, the drill is the same: they yell, spit, scream, and slam phones down. They each walk away with what they want, and their relationship remains intact. In fact it’s better. They’ll have something to laugh about later over a beer.
    I remember once Phil was screaming, and Joe hung up on him. Phil didn’t realize that Joe had hung up so he continued to scream until his assistant knocked on the door and told him that Joe had hung up four minutes ago. Phil was so amused by that that he called Joe back to laugh about it: “F—cker, you
wouldn’t believe what just happened, I was screaming and you hung up and I didn’t know that for four minutes! That’s hysterical ... so what were we talking about? Oh right, yeah sure. I’ll give you the extra producer.”
    After months of watching how Joe’s aggressive, in-your-face method seemed to get him what he needed, I decided I’d give it a try.
    I went into Phil’s office and sat down on his couch and proceeded to tell him in no uncertain terms that my salary was a joke and that he’d better change it.
    “I’m really, really tired of not being paid my worth,” I said angrily. “You keep saying you will deal with it. When Phil, when ? This is ridiculous, and I am not going to put up with it anymore.” I raised my voice and tossed in a few F-bombs.
    The approach was very Joe.