Even in mathe matic s she had no real grasp of principles, merely an ability to calculate with lightning speed and carry figures in her head.
At last the bus arrived with a n uneven roar and diesel stink. With others who were waiting, Juanita climbed aboard. No seats were available and standing space was crowded. She managed to grab a handhold and continued thinking, straining to remember as the bus swayed through the city streets.
What would happen tom orrow? Miles had told her that F BI men were coming. The thought filled her with fresh dread and her face set tensely in a bleakness of anxiety the same expression which Edwina D'Orsey and Nolan Wainwright had mistaken for hostility.
She would say as little as possible, just as she had done today after she found that no one was believing.
As to the machine, the lie detector, she would refuse. She knew nothing of how such a machine worked, but when no one else would understand, believe, or help her, why would a machine the bank's machine be different?
It was a three-block walk from the bus to the nursery school where she had left Estela this morning on her way to work. Juanita hurried, knowing she was late.
The little girl ran toward her as she entered the small school playroom in the basement of a private house. Though the house, like others in the area, was old and dilapidated, the school rooms were dean and cheerful the reason Juanita had chosen the school in preference to others, though the cost was higher and a strain for her to pay. Estela was excited, as full of joy as always,
"Mommy Mommyl See my painting. It's a train.. She pointed with a paint-covered finger. "There's a bagoose. That's a man inside."
She was a small child, even for three, dark like Juanita, with large liquid eyes reflecting her wonder at each new interest, at the fresh discoveries she made every day.
Juanita hugged her and corrected her gently. "Caboose, amorcito."
It was obvious from the stillness that the other children were all gone.
Miss Ferroe, who owned and ran the school, came in primly, frowning. She looked pointedly at her watch.
"Ms . Nunez, as a special favor I agreed that E stela could stay after the others , but this is far too late…"
"I really am sorry, Miss Ferroe. Something happened at the bank."
"I have private responsibilities also. And other parents observe the school's closing time." "It won't happen again. I promise."
"Very well. But since you are here, Ms . Nunez, may I remind you that last month's bill for Estela has not been paid." "It will be on Friday. I'll have my paycheck then."
"I'm sorry to have to mention it, you understand. Estela is a sweet little girl and we're glad to have her. But I have bills to pay…" "I do understand. It will b e Friday for sure. I pr omise." "That's two promises, Ms . Nunez." "Yes, I know." "Good night then. Good night, Estela dear."
Despite her starchiness, the F erroe woman ran an excellent nursery school and Estela was happy there. The money owing to the school, Juanita decided, would have to come out of her pay this week, as she had said, and somehow she must manage until the payday after that. She wasn't sure how. Her wage as a teller was $98 weekly; after taxes and Social Security deductions, her take-home pay was $83. Out of that there was food to buy for the two of them, Estela's school fees, plus rent of the tiny walk-up fla t they lived in at Forum East; also the finance company would demand a payment since she had missed the last.
Before Carlos left her, simply walking out and disappearing a year ago, Juanita had been naive enough to sign finance papers jointly with her husband. He had bought suits, a used car, a color TV, all of which he took with him. Juanita, however, was still paying, the installments seeming to stretch on into a limitless future
She would have to visit the finance company office, she thought, and offer them less. They would undoubtedly be nasty, as they were before, but it would have to be