Free Wanted Distraction by Ava McKnight Page B

forty-five.
    Pushing down the agony lodged in my throat, I said, “Just needed to clear my head. This is the best place to do it.”
    She poured our tea and handed me a glass. “Tell me all about it.”
    I sipped, then sighed. A full-on recap of my dilemma was really too depressing to face. “You remember Carter Davis, right?”
    My mother let out a heavy, over-dramatic breath. “Do I ever. You were hopelessly in love with him. He was the only boy you ever talked about. Didn’t he take you to a dance?”
    “No, but we did dance together once. At prom. Anyway, he’s been playing football since high school and just came back to Phoenix. We got together last night and it was incredible, but he has a lot of things on his mind and some serious issues with his career. I’m afraid I’ll screw him up if I continue to see him.” He’d said himself I’d derailed him, after all.
    Following a sip of her tea, my mom asked, “Are you still in love with him?”
    “That wasn’t love in high school. That was a mad crush.”
    I shook my head at my own misery as I contemplated how my infatuation had never died. And how easily it had transcended adolescence and blossomed into something much more substantial with our reunion.
    “My feelings for him never changed, never dimmed,” I said. “And when I saw him again… Oh, yeah. This is definitely love. He’s wonderful, Mom. In so many ways.”
    She gave my words their due consideration, then played devil’s advocate, as she was prone to do. “Ten years is a long time to have feelings for someone you’ve never really dated.”
    “I know. But I’ve always felt strongly about him. It’s relentless.”
    “And how does he feel about you?”
    One of the last things he’d said to me sprang to mind.
    Cherish, I’ve always wanted you. It’s always been you…
    A fresh batch of tears filled my eyes. “He wants me,” I told her.
    “Well, then,” my mother said in her sweet voice. “Problem solved.”
    I groaned. “It’s not that easy.”
    “Why not?” she asked. “If your father and I had truly been meant for each other, I would have supported his constant job-hopping and professional bumbling, and he wouldn’t have minded my eclectic style. The truth is, we were very good friends who had a child together. That first experience with Charlie went pretty well, so we decided to get married and have another baby, Christian. And then another. We could agree on how to raise you and your brothers, but that was all we really had in common.”
    I thought of how my parents had treated each other, with kindness and respect. But there’d never been anything electric between them.
    Venturing into unchartered territory, I asked, “Did you and Daddy even sleep together after I was conceived?”
    “We shared the same bed, but that was the extent of it. There was no passion between us. I eventually realized that was something I wanted, and so did your father. Our divorce was an amiable one. We both knew we wanted more.”
    My mom had actually met a great man several years ago whom she was hopelessly devoted to—and vice versa—though he was a commercial airline pilot, so he wasn’t around as much as she would like. Yet she was willing to suffer through his absence because she loved him so much. Lesson learned.
    Now it was my turn to suck it up. “I can’t imagine wanting more than Carter,” I mumbled.
    “Then why are you here, dear?” she asked with a motherly smile.
    I finished my beverage and set my glass on the table. I reached for a Madeline and took a bite out of it as I contemplated my predicament. Then I said, “I told Carter I wanted to be supportive, not detrimental when it came to his career. It wouldn’t be easy to be with him during the most difficult and pivotal point of his life. But on the other hand, what if being there for him actually helps, not hinders him?”
    “It all depends on how unwavering your love is, Cherish.”
    I polished off the Madeline and