hesitated. "What you said."
"Princess, you're drunk, half-naked in a hot tub, and bonding with two other girls who got screwed over by the same guy. You can say 'asshole.' Page Six won't get wind of it and confuse you with Courtney Love."
"Forgive me for being able to get my point across without using profanity," Lara said primly.
Babe kicked the water, splashing Lara in the face. "So how long did the doctor say that stick would be lodged in your ass?" And then she started to laugh. Hysterically.
Gabrielle had joined in with obvious reluctance. But she just couldn't help it.
Lara wiped the water from her eyes and glared at Babe. "If a guy like Dean Paul is an unfortunate rite of passage, then you're a very slow learner. Aren't you with Jake James now? He's much worse."
Babe's face registered the strong comeback. She paused a beat, then grinned. "It could be worse. I could be single and still pining away for my first college boyfriend."
Lara didn't back down. "I'd rather be pathetic and alone than end up with Jake James. What's wrong? Couldn't you tempt Geraldo away from his fifth wife?"
Gabrielle moved fast to defuse the ticking bomb. "Okay, that is enough! We're not here to claw each other's eyes out! We're here to forgive and move past the bullshit. Dean Paul is married. He made his choice. That bitch at the altar didn't look like any of us. Why can't we have five minutes of solidarity, mutual consolation, whatever?"
"Consolation? I didn't want to marry him," Babe snapped.
"Bitch, please," Gabrielle fired back. "If you were seriously over that man, you wouldn't be with Jake James, knowing full well that Dean Paul hates that fool. You expect us to believe that's a coincidence? Baby girl, you're not in a hot tub with two crackheads."
Lara and Babe traded puzzled glances, then zeroed in on Gabrielle curiously.
"Sorry," Gabrielle said. "That was Brown Sugar talking. Sometimes I can't help it."
Everybody laughed.
"It's like the Incredible Hulk," Babe said. "Only instead of turning green, you turn into a girl from the ghetto.”
Gabrielle shook her head and negotiated another swig from the bottle.
Babe started to say something else, then halted, suddenly pensive for a moment. "Maybe that's the thing," she said with philosophical directness. "He's not an asshole. That's what makes it so hard to get over him. But he is an asshole for not being an asshole. Does that make any sense?"
Lara finished her Red Bull, feeling a surge of energy. She looked at Babe as if to say she understood. And she did. "Yes, it does."
"I didn't think I would still be in this emotional place about him at this point in my life," Babe went on. "I should be more evolved. All those underwhelming but trustworthy guys I've been ignoring should look good to me now. They've learned how to dress. They're successful. Some of them are actually hot." She shook her head. "But there's no interest. I don't even want to go out to dinner with one of them. What did that son of a bitch do to me?"
Gabrielle skated a bejeweled hand through the bubbling water. "Whatever it was, honey, he did it to all of us."
Lara cleared her throat. It was all coming back to her. How good this could be. To have girlfriends you poured out your heart to. Ever since college, work had absorbed masses of Lara's time. Regrets Only was all-consuming. It took devotion, a certain kind of fidelity, even competitive camaraderie with her peers in the same business. Basically, total human energy. But without the return of warmth, without the comfort of the sisterly society she had clung to in college.
Lara parted her lips to speak. Babe had shared something heartfelt. Now it was her turn. "A few years ago, I spent a small fortune on a first edition of his favorite novel— The Great Gatsby. And I just put it on the shelf. I don't know why. I guess I thought it would be nice to have around in case we got back together."
Babe laughed. "You kill me, Lara. That's your best