resting my one hand on his forearm between my breasts, and the other moving his hand between my legs. My lips reached his cheek. His skin is softer that I expected. Yes, I already felt it, but apparently my lips are soft enough to not scare him off.
I didn’t dare turn around, because I thought I was able to keep him with me, because of what I did with our lower hands and – as I realized – with my hips moving against him. Thinking of that, it was amazing that he didn’t lose it like the times before, but it explains his trembling so much more. It was absolute madness of mine: taking my hand from his forearm to bring it to his face. He didn’t freak, just tensed up again.
I don’t know what I was thinking.
This isn’t me.
However, I quickly brought his hands into my pants, feeling his fingers directly on my moist flesh was... well, if I already wasn’t insane till then, I was now. Because he pressed his fingers into me, making me sigh highly, pushing his face towards mine and our lips met.
Despite sensing the fangs, his fangs, I was out of it; I was the one losing it, my sanity. I kissed him. I freaking kissed a monster, a creature, a beast. However, I kept my eyes closed, I didn’t think of opening them. I didn’t think at all, because he kissed me back.
His face is human and not. It is a weird mixture, something warped, and yes: that is what he is. It explains so much: being a hybrid.
Something changed in him as I did this and not only in him, but him, as in his exterior. I think it felt like those fangs had faded a bit. How crazy is that?
I could hear myself whisper against his mouth, pleading: “Please. I need this. I need you to...”
It’s not like he needed more encouragement than me doing all this and me pulling my pants down. I think, I was just too wet that it didn’t hurt when he entered me right there, where I was standing. My knees gave in and we both knelt on the ground. I did all I could to meet him, when he fucked me hard, even though strangely gentle. I couldn’t hold back long and neither did he.
It was wonderful. So close.
Before we could do anything else they made him leave me again.
I swear, I think if he had a chance he would have cuddled me. And I definitely would have cuddled him back.
I couldn’t look at Peter. I don’t know why that bothered me. I don’t know why I’m even writing it down.
Day 40
There is a reasonable explanation for this. You know, I’ll skip the schedule thing. It’s the same, every day. Either they take me to a second workout or to him. It seems like a 50/50 chance or 60/40. I’ll figure it out someday, right?
So, there is a reasonable explanation for me missing him. Not Peter. Jeez, I realized two days ago that he’s standing in front of my door. No, him, my beast. Why am I even confusing them? Or thinking of the both of them?
I don’t even get the chance to ask him for his name. They just tell him to leave before I regain the ability to speak. I am sure that he could answer, if they would just give us enough time. Then again, they keep watching us. I wish there was a chance to see him without White perving.
Really, I don’t miss him just for... you know... doing it – I swear I was never such a person. It’s not like I was a virgin when I came here, but that... well... it was never that great for me, just part of... you just do it, right? And it’s not just because with him it’s... literally mind blowing.
I want to get to know him. I want to understand him, and everything else: how he came here, how he became what he is. I just can’t make myself believe that this is his normal state. I think that something happened to him, or even that White made him what he is now. There is just... too much human about him.
Yes, I know what you might think: it’s just because you want a reasonable explanation for you wanting to have sex with him. Caring is a good reason. Although you’re secretly just after the one thing. But that’s
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