Free Alana by Monica Barrie

Alana, a woman waiting to be set free from the bonds that held her back.
    Then he knew why she was different from other women and, not for the first time, Rafe wondered why Alana could not see herself as others saw her.
    So Rafe marveled at her beauty for her, because he knew she did not see it herself. Perhaps her naïveté even enhanced her beauty. Rafe knew that Alana was one of those rare women who possessed the ability to make men not only desire her but push themselves to any length to satisfy their desire.
    When he could stay still no longer, he stepped onto the dock and called her name. He saw her stiffen, and then saw her hands release the wood railing.
    Alana turned to face Rafe, her heart racing. She saw the strain on his features and smiled sadly. “It is hard for you,” she whispered, longing to touch his face but unwilling to risk it for fear she would lose her resolve.
    “I will survive,” he said dryly but not without emotion.
    “I know you will. We both will.”
    Rafe walked past her and leaned on the railing. He looked across the river at the dark shadows of the trees. “Tell me how you managed to keep Riverbend whole during the war.”
    “It was something I had to do,” she said simply.
    Rafe turned on her, his eyes narrow and piercing. “Like marrying Jason?”
    Alana held her ground, her tone flat. “Yes, like marrying Jason.”
    Rafe stepped close to her, his eyes never leaving her face. His arms went around her and drew her to him. He could feel the heat of her breasts branding him. When Alana did not pull away, he lowered his mouth to her warm lips.
    This kiss, unlike their first, was soft and gentle. When it ended and Rafe drew back, he saw passion flooding Alana’s eyes.
    Before he could kiss her again, Alana pulled free. “No more,” she pleaded. “I cannot think when you do that. I cannot stop myself from giving in to you.”
    “And you want me to prevent that for you?” he asked in a tightly controlled voice.
    “You must,” she said.
    “When I’m with you, it takes all my willpower not to touch you, not to pull you to me and make love to you. And knowing that you want me, how can you ask me not to take you?”
    “Because you’re strong, Rafe, stronger than I.”
    “You love me Alana, even though you won’t speak the words; I can see it on your face and in your eyes.”
    Alana felt as if she were trapped. She wanted to shout her love to the heavens, but she could not. Instead, she asked, “How could I carry that shame into my marriage?”
    “How can you live knowing that you did not take happiness when it was offered?” he challenged in return. “Alana, I have stayed because of you. I am living every day as if it were my last. I find it impossible not to hold you next to me, not to feel the softness of your breasts upon me. You ask a lot of one man.”
    “Only because I know the man and know what he is capable of doing,” she said. Her hand, no longer obeying her mind, rose to his face. She traced the deeply etched grooves that framed his full mouth and then let her fingertips brush across his lips.
    “Because I love you and would see you until I no longer may. You have my heart, Rafe–is that not enough?”
    “It will never be enough!  Only having you at my side, in my bed, waking when I do, laughing with me, living with me, and raising our children together will be enough–and perhaps not even that will be enough,” he whispered truthfully.
    Alana’s fingers shook. She clasped her hands together before her and looked across the water. When she spoke, her voice faltered, but she didn’t care.
    “Until a…a week ago, I did not know what love could really mean.” She stopped then, her mouth dry, her throat trying to prevent the words from coming out. “I–Rafe, I must be satisfied with that knowledge only, for anything else would be a betrayal.”
    Rafe studied Alana’s face, then reached out and grasped her hands. She lifted her eyes to him.
    “You forget