lawyer and got fed up with my antics. Colleen hasnât asked once what Iâm doing here or why I came alone. My car jammed full of belongings has been parked in her lot for almost a day and sheâs asked me nothing about it. She seems comfortable taking me only on what Iâm happy to share myself. Face value. Itâs nice.
Cupping a travel thermos of coffee from Colleen and dusting off lemon poppyseed muffin crumbs from a hurried breakfast, I walk out into the snow and wind and down the street to the high school and around in circles and up and down stairs and past oodles of curious students until I find the computer lab. And, like it is all meant to be, my husband is sitting in there completely alone, door closed, in sight of the window. The whiteboard on his door says, âOffice Hours, Please Knock,â and I knock.
Ben looks up. Today he is in another flannel shirt, a blue and yellow one. Over the flannel is a tie, and all of this is worn with faded denim jeans. He looks so North Woods it hurts. What became of that slick Silicon Valley millionnaire I met in Vegas? Through the inset window I see him mouth, âCome inâ and give me a friendly, curious wave.
When I step into the room I feel it right away. An aura of calm, of stability, of infinite patience. It seems to be radiating out of his eyes. This. This is why I married him that night. This is why the teen coffee shop girl is in love with him. This, and his green-gold eyes and thick eyelashes and broad, broad flannel-clad shoulders. âHi,â I start. It comes out on a little sigh. Oh lord. I have more in common with Junior Miss Muumuu than I thought.
âHi,â he says. His eyes are searching mine, then my face. Thereâs no attempt to mask the confusion. But itâs confusion, not displeasure, not disdain, just confusion I see. âBen Hutchinson,â he says at last, rising from his chair and extending a hand to shake. âHave a seat.â
âThanks.â I take his hand and give it a little jostle. âI hope Iâm not interrupting?â
âOf course not. But ⦠weâve met, right? I ⦠Iâm embarrassed to tell you Iâve forgotten your name.â
âItâs Lily. Lily Stewart. But thereâs no way on earth you could have remembered me. I couldnât remember you, frankly, until I looked you up.â
âLilyâ¦â he mumbles. Then his eyes widen. âLas Vegas Lily?â
âThe very same,â I say, forcing a meek smile. To my alarm, I feel all the calm and patience wash out of the room. The man looks positively panicked.
âOh. Whoa.â
âSo you remember me, then,â I say, hoping to lighten the mood. But I am getting pretty panicked myself now. Why is he looking at me like that?
âWell,â he says and thereâs an interminable pause, and he takes an enormous breath, and lets it out very slowly. âYes. Of course. A bachelorette party. You were the maid of honor.â He runs a hand over the stubble of his chin.
I nod. âThatâs right,â and wait for the penny to drop.
âThat was quite a wild night,â he says, slowly shaking his head. âAnd it was a long time ago ⦠And weâ¦â Ah, here we go.
âYeah. We did. Ten years ago, to be exact.â
âAre youâ¦? Did youâ¦? Am I a father?â he squeaks out.
âWhat? Oh god, no. Oh my god. You ⦠we ⦠we were careful. Jeez.â I canât help but laugh at his terror.
âOh, thank God,â he says on a monster exhale. His head tips back and he looks at the ceiling and I swear he actually mouths a prayer. âI know we were smart, but my brain just went there because, well, why else would you be here?â
âYou really have no idea?â I ask.
âNone. Nostalgia? Soul-searching? AA?â
âGuess again.â
Thereâs a pause and then he says apologetically,
Christine Zolendz, Frankie Sutton, Okaycreations