Free Mindf**k by Fanie Viljoen Page B

It was you … it was you!’ I yelled at him. ‘Ask Sky. He’ll tell you.’
    ‘I’m afraid Sky can’t say anything anymore.’
    Ice cold words. Kerbs’ eyes bore through mine. I suddenly realized what he was actually saying.
    ‘Sky wanted to go to the pigs, Burns. He wanted to tell them what you’ve done. Squeal. I decided: to hell with it, you don’t do that to your friends. I took care of him, Burns, for you …’
    I had to swallow hard at the puke pushing up my throat. Shit, everything around me was falling apart. Kerbs slipped into focus, out of focus. His voice seemed far away.
    ‘Don’t worry, nobody will find him. And he won’t be able to talk anymore. And neither should we. We should go on as if nothing happened. We don’t know anything.’ He grabbed my shirt and forcibly pulled me closer. ‘We didn’t see anything, didn’t hear anything. Okay, Burnsie? Okay?’
    I probably nodded, perhaps even said yes. I can’t remember.
    But Kerbs was satisfied. And that was all that mattered.

TRACK 27
Brandy doesn’t work
    I went to bed with one of my dad’s bottles of brandy. (Weird that he didn’t take it with him, now that he was on that downhill slide.) Morning came and I decided to throw the empty bottle away when everyone had gone. Curled up in a ball it felt as if someone was playing a boyband CD backwards in my mind. (And no, it didn’t sound any better.)
    The sun shone through my window, directly onto my bed. I was still fighting against waking up. Why couldn’t I just sleep? Forever and ever and ever. Then I wouldn’t have to struggle through this wasted life. Everything was in turmoil. Broken, fucked up.
    I thought about Sky who lay dead somewhere. What did Kerbs do to him? It would be something cruel. I knew Kerbs. He wouldn’t settle for second-best, he would have made sure.
    Sky always had a soft side. At times I wondered why he hung out with a guy like Kerbs. It was looking for trouble.
    Come to think of it, I should’ve known that too. I did know it. That was why I befriended him. Because of the imminent possibility of danger. But I never thought that it would go that far.
    I wondered if Sky knew that Kerbs was going to kill him. Did he see it coming? Probably not, otherwise he would have done something.
    His parents were still in America. They probably hadn’t been informed yet.
    Should I go to the police? Should I tell them about Partygirl and Sky?
    And Kerbs.
    I shut my eyes.
    Everything was fucked up.
    There was coffee in the percolator when I stepped inside the kitchen. I poured myself a big mug. I thought about drinking it black, without sugar, but it tasted so bad that I tossed in the milk and sugar.
    I thought I was seeing things when a strange man came through the door. Blond, sturdy, tall. Probably ten years older than me. He stared at me for a while without saying a word, got fruit juice from the fridge and poured himself a tall glass. I watched him the whole time. He sat down opposite me at the kitchen table.
    â€˜So, you’re Chris?’ he said.
    â€˜My dad taught me not to talk to strange guys.’
    I had an idea who he was: Mom’sboyfriend. Fucking toy boy.
    â€˜Your dad isn’t here anymore, is he?’ said Toy Boy.
    â€˜And you think you are?’
    He smiled, nodded his head.
    â€˜My name is –’
    â€˜I don’t give a fuck what your name is.’ I got up and made my way to the door. ‘You screw around. That’s all I need to know about you.’
    â€˜Anthony!’ he called out after me. ‘My name is Anthony!’
    I slammed my bedroom door shut, put on a CD from KoRn –
Take a look in the mirror.
    I turned the volume way up.
    I pulled a T-shirt over my head, dragged my fingers through my hair and grabbed mywallet. Kerbs said that nobody would find Sky but I wanted to go to his house and see for myself what was going on. Had he been murdered there? Then the place might still be