Free We Are All Strangers by Nicole Sobon Page A

falling apart. This shouldn’t be happening, I told myself. And it shouldn’t. But it was, and I wasn’t sure if I could handle it.
    I wasn’t sure if I could keep it together because inside, I was a complete and utter wreck. My heart pounded against my chest with fear. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what my grandmother must be feeling. I wasn’t the one dying, but it sure as heck felt like it.
    “Boarding pass?” the flight attendant asked. Regaining my composure, I handed her my boarding pass and waited for her to scan it, before allowing me to enter the walkway. “Have a wonderful flight,” she said, smiling as she sent me on my way.
    I nodded, moving with the crowd. The cold air in the walkway beat against my skin forcing me to pay attention. As we neared the plane’s entrance, I began to panic. In a few hours, I’d have to face reality – I’d have to accept that this was the last time I’d see my grandmother.
    Breathe, Sophie , I reminded myself, relax .
    Following the other passengers, I stepped onto the plane and made my way down the aisle. I moved down the aisle until I neared my seat. Seat 22A. A window seat. At least that’s a positive , I told myself. I could lose myself in the clouds for the next few hours.
    I shoved my bag inside of the compartment above and eased myself into my row, lowering myself into my seat.
    When my mother told me that we needed to visit sooner rather than later, I knew that it meant she only had a few weeks left – if we were lucky. She’d left earlier with my father and sister, but I’d stayed behind. Until now.
    “Don’t do anything stupid,” she told me. “It hurts, we’re all hurting, but the world can’t suffer because of our selfishness, Sophie.”
    All that I wanted was more time.
    When we’d moved from New Jersey to Florida, as a child, I didn’t think much of it. Heck, all I cared about was that we’d be moving closer to Disney World. I never thought about what I’d miss – how much I’d miss.
    Now, it came to me in full force. I’d missed getting to know my grandmother. I’d missed growing up with my cousins. I’d missed being around my family, and I didn’t realize just how much it hurt until I was faced to deal with losing a loved one. It was rather pathetic that it took someone dying for me to see what I’d been missing.
    The worst part was that I knew that I could change things. I could give her more time. I could give us more time to say goodbye. But my mother insisted that I leave the balance alone.
    What was the point of being able to control time if I couldn’t use it for something important? For more time with my grandmother before she left us?
    As the plane filled up, a voice beamed over the intercom, urging all passengers to power off their electronic devices before diving into the safety procedures we were to follow in case of an accident.
    Such a comforting topic right before liftoff , I thought.
    I strapped on my seat belt, lifted the shade panel on my window and leaned back in my seat. I was dreading this trip, and it didn’t help that the guy beside me insisted upon leading towards me. Two minutes in, and he was already beginning to doze off. Oh, how I hoped he wasn’t a snorer.
    I pressed my head against the window and stared out into the clouds, eager to clear my mind, to erase the pain that was desperately trying to overtake me, to claim every inch of me. The clouds and bright-blue sky calmed me, allowing my eyelids to close, to silence the pain pumping through my heart.
    The aircraft skidded to a halt on the landing strip at the Newark airport, forcing my eyes open. The creepy guy beside me had somehow managed to rest his head on my shoulder at some point during the trip. “Seriously?” I hissed, pulling forward, causing his head to drop and his eyes to fly open. “I’m not a pillow, you know.”
    He looked at me apologetically as he ran the back of his hand across his lips, wiping off a stream of drool.
    Great. I