Free A Year at 32 September Way by Mary Ylisela Page A

first days, and she was sure Josh was happy to get away. It was never Nicolette’s intention to be difficult or, as she knew his friends called her, high-maintenance. It had just been so hard to cope with life the last two years. Before she’d gotten clean, before Josh had convinced her to go to rehab, she’d always had something in her stash to calm her down when she felt stressed out. And there’d always been something else to boost her confidence and give her energy when she wanted to party all night long.
    The drug use was casual, Nicolette liked to tell herself. To her, it was just a little boost here or there, like calling a good friend when you’re feeling down or getting a little wave of energy to make it through the day. Even though she’d admitted to being an addict in rehab, she never believed it to be true. She only said it because she had to. She snorted a little cocaine now and then to pick her up and popped a pill or two once in a while to help herself calm down. But it wasn’t a daily event, and she never felt desperate. In fact, she kind of liked it.
    Josh had suspected her drug use for a while, but Nicolette had always skirted the issue because she knew he’d never understand. One day she’d gotten careless and left some cocaine in her purse, and he’d found it. At first, she was outraged that he’d been rifling through her things. But eventually she understood that he cared about her and loved her…truly loved her for who she was, not just because of her looks. It was then that she agreed to go to rehab, but she never told him about taking pills and felt she should keep that secret to herself.
    After rehab, she’d continued with the meditation and yoga that had been an instrumental part of her treatment program. It made her feel serene, calm and focused…sort of like a combination of cocaine and downers. For the better part of a year, she’d practiced both for hours each day. Without the excitement of the Hollywood social scene, there wasn’t much for Nicolette to do. She’d had some small film parts and had enjoyed many evenings out on the arm of some handsome actor while still living in Los Angeles but, other than that, she was a part of the social scene; that’s what she did. Once she and Josh moved to Napa Valley, there was nothing for her to do but meditate, practice yoga and rest on their deck.
    Now she’d been uprooted yet again. She loved Josh and knew he was the best thing for her, but he demanded more change and adjustment from her than she was able to give. There was nothing peaceful about Verona. It wasn’t a busy, modern city like Los Angeles or Hollywood, but it was full of the buzz and energy of thousands of tourists and all the locals who were too busy to notice them. For Nicolette, the buzz was almost audible; even at night she couldn’t make the noise go away. She could feel the stress building in the pit of her stomach. She’d taken it out on Josh and felt bad about that. At least now she’d finally met someone, and maybe a new friendship would help her adjust.
    Nicolette glanced at her watch. “Ten o’clock already; we were supposed to meet out front at 9:30. Some friend!” Disappointed, Nicolette looked toward the door, and then glanced toward the street in front of her. The thought of going back into the apartment was too boring to bear, and she simply couldn’t sit within those same four walls for another moment. Maybe it was time to venture out of the courtyard and see what was nearby. “Time to be brave,” she thought. “Josh will be so proud.”
    ***
    The sun streamed through the window as the gentle breeze caressed her arm, nudging Carlisle awake. As she floated through the chasm between asleep and awake, she became coherent enough to remember her last thoughts and feelings before everything went black. “Where am I? What’s going on?” she struggled to remember with eyes still closed.
    Her hand moved over the cotton sheets and up to her right where