Free Single Wide Female: The Bucket List Mega Bundle - 24 Books (Books #1-24) by Lillianna Blake Page A

relaxed me enough to finally write my blog post.

    I sat down at my computer. This time, I ignored the candles, the music, and the lighting. I just opened the darn computer, positioning my fingers over the keys. I took a deep breath as I stared at the blinking cursor on the screen.
    This time, I didn’t try to think of what people would want to read. Instead, I thought about how I’d just spent my evening, trying to make myself interesting. I had to wonder how many other women felt that way —like they had some image that they were trying to live up to—that they had to work so hard to be anything other than who they truly were.
    I began typing and as the words flowed out of me, I felt transformed.
    I was being honest. I was making spelling errors. I was sure that my grammar would enrage someone. But it was me — all me — one hundred percent me. Not what I thought people wanted to hear, not what my mother wanted me to be, not even what Max wanted me to be. It was all of my insecurities and all of my dreams.

Chapter 10

    In my blog post, I talked about the fact that people didn’t even see each other any more because we were all too busy focusing on our own flaws. The paintings had oddly taught me that.
    By the time I was finished writing, I felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I had released pure emotion, untainted by the perceptions or expectations of others, and it felt great.
    As I read it over, I was surprised that the words had come so easily from me. I’d written about the details of my bucket list —why I’d started it—and I invited others to join me on the journey, creating their own bucket lists to conquer.
    I still felt pretty uncertain about it. Sure, the words meant a lot to me, but would anyone else even care? I hoped that maybe someone would stumble across the blog and find something of meaning in it.
    I hovered the mouse over the post button. I knew, once I submitted it, that would be it. My words would be floating around in cyberspace. I hit the button and sat back. I don’t know if I was waiting for my computer to explode, or the Internet to celebrate in some way, but the actual process was a little anticlimactic. I sighed and closed the computer. I carried it over to the computer table to put it away for the night.
    I thought about what tomorrow might bring as I headed for my bedroom. Would I be able to keep up with my blog? Would I be able to live without worrying about the expectations of others? For most people, I knew that wouldn’t be too difficult. With Max, it was going to be rough.
    As I sprawled out on my bed and stared up at the ceiling, I thought about the choices I’d been making lately. I remembered cleansing my room of all things immature. I did that because I wanted to look like someone else.
    I got up out of bed and headed to the closet. I snatched my teddy bear out of the box. I set it back on the shelf where it belonged. It had gotten me through many sleepless nights, and it too was a part of who I was.
    As I drifted off to sleep I felt a sense of pride at being able to check one more item off on my bucket list. Not only that, but I actually felt as if I might have stumbled upon a new talent — writing. Just when I thought there was nothing about myself that could surprise me, I discovered that I liked to write. I looked forward to discovering what else I might learn about myself during this journey.

    I woke up the next morning with a screaming headache. I groaned and tried to lift my head. It was not a pleasant experience. If it weren’t for the blog I’d posted the night before, I probably would have stayed in bed. But I really wanted to see if I had gotten any responses.
    I forced myself up out of the bed and to the medicine cabinet. I rummaged around until I found some aspirin. I tossed a few back with some water from the sink. I knew they wouldn’t kick in for some time. I splashed some water on my face. I stumbled out of the bathroom and