Free Sweet Karoline by Catherine Astolfo Page B

there's something to be said about making movies purely for entertainment. Just to be able to go out and have a laugh…"
    " Laugh! The characters exhibit inane, ridiculous behavior and are clearly people none of us here would want to know. If we're laughing, if we find that nonsense in any way funny, it's because we're mocking these morons. This movie is encouraging us to make fun of other people."
    " Karoline, you can't think the characters in that movie are meant to be seen as real people. They're like cartoons."
    Parris gave a small laugh, still believing she was debating, just as I'd described the amusing exchanges of words around this table in the past.
    " Ahhh, cartoon people."
    The silence from the rest of us was a wall of disbelief through which none of us could speak and of which Parris appeared unaware. Later I felt terrible that I hadn't intervened, hadn't somehow pulled Parris and the rest of us out of the pool of venom that leaked from my roommate's mouth. Hadn't somehow foreseen that Karoline was about to unearth a deadly disease of hatred that would infect us both. That would poison the air forever.
    " But aren't you film people all cartoonish? Aren't you vapid and shallow and ridiculous? People who manipulate and steal in the name of so-called art and then trot out movies like Beverly Hills Cop and expect the rest of the population to support you financially?"
    Karoline pointed her fork toward Vicki and Joseph. They sat with pale faces and question mark frowns, considering whether or not to laugh or get up from the table, impaled like dried flowers in a frame by Karoline's stabbing fork and her malicious tone.
    " I've known Vicki and Joseph for years. They are the epitome of insipid and superficial. Definite cartoon characters. But you don't see them up on the screen for us to laugh at. In fact, I usually sit very politely and pretend their conversation is stimulating and intelligent."
    " Karoline."
    Daniel spoke her name quietly, reverently, almost like a question. Where did you go, Karoline? Who is this person who has taken your place?
    As though she'd been under water, Karoline's eyes became clear again and she shook her head. Carefully replacing her fork, she shoved her chair backward, causing it to smack down on the hardwood floor. Then she walked, shoulders back, toward the exit. She grabbed her brown shawl and disappeared into the hallway, slamming the front door as she left.
    I picked up the bottle of white wine that Karoline and Daniel had been sharing and shook it, peering inside as though I could see mysterious contents lurking.
    " Okay, Daniel, what did you put in this bottle?"
    Early the next morning, after the guests were long gone, the dishes cleared, the chairs back on their exact spots, Karoline appeared in my bedroom. I rolled over to blink up at her hovering over me, her lank hair damp and wild, her eyes round discs of a drug called madness. It was not a Karoline I recognized.
    " You'll be sorry, Anne," she whispered. "Sorry about everything."
    She staggered off to her room, her shawl clinging to her rounded, old-woman shoulders. I heard her bed shift as she flung her weight onto it, heard those sounds for the first time, the invectives and taunts that would eventually, literally, put us both over the edge.
     
    Dear Diary,
    I have always believed that friends are far easier to love than family. The saying that 'you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends' has always rung true for me. What I don't understand is how they could betray me like this. For years I have been the one to guide them. Without me, they would be nothing! They never had any self-discipline or logical sense. They could never make decisions, or budgets, or career plans, or even figure out what they should eat for optimal health. I loved them, provided for them, and gave them everything. And this is how they repay me?

 
    Chapter 8
     
    For a very long time after that night, I tried to ignore the changed world