Free When Past & Present Collide: WP&PC by Sarah Hardy Page B

felt useless , but what else could I do? I was stroking her knuckles slowly with all the affection I could give her, but in all truth she wasn’t even here anymore.
    Once she was wheeled into the room , flash after flash was clicked all around us and I think she completely left us at that moment. Her head dropped and all the fight had left her body. She had left me to fight on my own. And in all honesty, I don’t know how I am still sitting here. I know I need to be the man, but this is my family I’m fighting for, fuck I had just gotten her back. I need to stay strong for Ella and Sammy. I can’t let them see that they have won or all of this is for nothing.
    The team have been great, I know they are doing all they can and maybe in Ella’s eyes it was never enough, but I see what they are doing. I see the hours they are leaving their f amilies to spend all the hours God knows on helping mine. I see their bags forming under their eyes as they hardly leave our home before they are back again, doing all they can. 
    But I also see the fighting spirit leaving them. After a long five days, I see their optimism is slowly fading from light to dark. I can hear them talking under their breaths, or half sentences ending when I walk into their space. They are being considerate around us, but there is only so much they can really do. I know that I’m a realist. I know deep down in my heart that this might not work out in our favour.
    The only question is, am I strong enough for the outcome we are al l dreading? The real answer is no, but I don’t have a choice. I need to be strong for my family. I’m praying every second of everyday that we can walk away from this as a happy solid family unit, but truth be known the more seconds, hours and days that pass, my hope is dwindling into hell. A hell I doubt Ella could pull back from, and if that happens I could probably say goodbye to my entire existence.
     
    *****
    Ella              
         The car had finally stopped as we pulled up to the main headquarters of the Metropolitan Police Station.
    This was huge and thankfully they had their own underground parking so none of those hungry buggers could get near me. I had a small amount of protection this very moment, while I sat in my own bubble.
    I could hear doors opening all around me and people getting out and talking. I couldn’t hear what they had to say, I had somehow blanked so much out. I didn’t even know what day we were on.
    The only thing I was confident about was I was in HELL.
    Beth placed her hand on my leg as I flicked my eyes to her. I could see she was nodding towards Tim which I kind of figured was our cue to move. Frank had mentioned a wheel chair and at this point I couldn’t care less. I didn’t even want to be here anymore, I wanted to be back home, if you could call it that.
    I looked to Jacob and he looked nervous. I loved his nervous look, he had the same look the day I first met him. I remember it like it was yesterday and in a way I wish it truly was , but this time I would have done things so differently.
    Could I really do this? Could I face all of them?
    What if they think it was me? Would anyone believe me? Let’s face it; the police had already questioned me about it. How the fuck could they question me? I know I’m not looking my best, but Jesus Christ, would anyone in my situation?
    Beth helped me out of the car and sat me in a wheel chair. Yes , you heard correctly, I was useless and sitting in a wheel chair getting pushed around by my best friend. Someone was rubbing their fingers over my shoulder and sending chills down my spine.
    The chills weren’t from the fear of the gesture. No , that left a warmth, the fear was from the unknown, whoever was comforting me was trying to let me know we were all in this together, but no one was in it with me, it was just me. It was my hell. My due for all the bad I had done.
    Before I realised what was happening , flashes of light lit up the