Free Alarm of War, Book II: The Other Side of Fear by Kennedy Hudner Page B

you.”  He laughed again and the gesture was so familiar that Emily knew without a doubt that he was Rafael’s natural father.  “It was a fine thing you did, a fine thing indeed.”
    “And in the midst of this, you are here to visit the Temple Ait Driss?” asked Hakima.  She was a tall, shrewd looking woman with the strong nose and high cheekbones of many of the mountain folk.  And as Hakima glanced at her, Emily realized the question had many layers.   She grasped then that while Hakima may not be Rafael’s birth mother, she most certainly was his mother and every bit as protective of him as any mother could be.  Aicha and Leila, busy chatting with Rafael, did not hear the question, but Yael did and he looked askance at his wife. 
    “Emily is our guest, Hakima,” he said softly but firmly, “let’s not press her unduly even before we’ve had dessert.”  Rafael suddenly realized that the conversation had taken a turn and listened more closely.  Hakima gazed steadily at Emily.
    “It took us a week to reach Refuge,” Emily said after a long pause.  “We were fighting every day, sometimes all day.  My battle group, the Coldstream Guards, was assigned the job of finding the Dominion supply train and destroying it.  We found it, but were ambushed and took many losses.”
    “Emily,” Rafael interrupted, “you don’t have to explain any of this.  We-“
    Emily held up a hand to stop him.  “It’s alright, Raf.  It is odd that they sent me here, but I think I know why.”  She turned back and addressed Hakima directly, conscious that in the background the children’s table had fallen silent and they were all listening as well.
    “My captain and the other officers were killed, so I ended up in command of the ship.  We destroyed the Dominion supply ships and fought our way back to the Atlas, but then had to hold off a strong attack by the Dominions as we approached the Refuge wormhole.  By the end there were only three ships left of the original twenty. We were the rearguard; if the Dominions got past us they’d have a clear shot at the Atlas.  There was a Dominion battleship-“  She faltered, then continued, her voice bleak.  “To stop it I had to send my best friend on a suicide mission.  I knew what I was doing.  I gave the order.  It worked and the Atlas escaped, but she was captured and I don’t think I will ever see her again.”  She shook her head.  “Every morning I wake up and think that because of my orders she is sitting in a cell somewhere…”
    “You honor her with your grief,” Leila said, giving Hakima a warning glance.
    Hakima nodded.  “You do her honor, as is right, but that does not explain why you are here instead of with your Fleet preparing for battle.”
    “Hakima, enough!” Leila snapped.
    “I am here because the Fleet Surgeon thinks I need a vacation or I will have a breakdown,” Emily said matter-of-factly.  “And she’s right.  We lost a lot of captains in the escape, a lot of ships and many thousands of sailors.  Twice I was one of only a few survivors.
    “At the end, I had resigned myself to death. It just seemed…inevitable.  I sent away all of the crew I didn’t need to fight the ship, then I was going to ram the Dominion battleship because I was out of missiles.  That’s when I sent my friend on the mission, knowing she could not survive.”
    At the children’s table, the teens stared at her open-mouthed.  Around her the adults stood in a tableau of disparate reactions: Hakima gazed at her steadily, Leila wiped tears from her eyes, Yael clenched his jaw, Amin, the woodsman, seemed to study her with new interest and Danny, the old soldier, nodded in sympathetic understanding.
      “I know the Fleet needs me,” Emily continued, struggling to keep her voice calm despite the emotion threatening to overcome her. “But it’s hard.  I try to put it behind me. I think the Fleet Surgeon is hoping that a change of scenery will help