Free Five Portraits by Piers Anthony Page B

times, like right now, it’s useful.”
    She had a point. It seemed that Kandy’s ability to become a board had spread to the others, giving them special shifting talents. She suspected that Demon Xanth had quietly enhanced their abilities, to enable them to better clean out the pun virus, because he didn’t like having his land messed up. Her recent association with Fornax impressed on her that Demons could mess in with mortal events when they chose.
    Which reminded her of the matter of the children. She needed to grab an opportunity the moment it was offered.
    They forged on through Pun Valley, leaving its terrain clean but spare. Xanth without puns was little better than drear Mundania.
    â€œI am ordering a delivery of seed puns,” Pewter said. “To restore the valley to its rightful status. The delivery should be soon.”
    â€œOur job is done,” Kandy said, mopping her grimy face. “The valley is clean, but we’re a mess. We’d better clean up. Is there a lake?”
    â€œNo lake,” Ease said. “But there’s a way.”
    â€œWhy do I suspect this has something to do with bare girls?”
    â€œHow else will you get clean?”
    He had her there. “So how do we wash?”
    â€œIn pun elixir.”
    They all paused. That actually made sense, to be sure that no vestige of the virus remained on them or their clothing.
    â€œI’m a board,” Kandy said, and became the board. It was an easier way to wash.
    The five aspects of Merge lifted their little urns over their tousled heads and started pouring. The others stripped and ducked down to rinse off under those streams of liquid. They also soaked and wrung out their clothes and hung them up on bushes to dry. Then the five aspects did the same, pouring for each other, and merged. Merge stood there, gloriously bare, her hair scintillating in all the colors of her aspects.
    Astrid noticed as they all dried in the sun how Ease, Mitch, and Art were looking, while Kandy’s board quivered resentfully, Metria smirked, Tiara frowned, and Astrid herself felt like doing some deadly staring. That girl needed to find a man soon so she wouldn’t be distracting other girls’ men. Had she had panties on, all of the men would have freaked out. As it was, they were not far from it.
    There was a huge brown shadow. It squawked and a package dropped before them, almost breaking apart. Then the roc bird few rapidly on and away. It was the OOPS delivery. A careless package.
    They unpacked it, finding half a myriad of shrink-wrapped puns, which expanded to full size the moment the wrap was off. There were Snow Shoes made of snow; a Yell-O Jacket that would sting anyone who put it on; a bright shining Brilli Ant; a Pine Needle that would sew curses into clothing to cause sadness in anyone who wore it; Sun Dial and Pun Dial Soap they could have used when showering; several Belts: Asteroid, Bible, Rust, Sun; a collection of useful Letters such as D-Tail, D-Fur, Fur-E, Pant-Es, Pant-Ts, Eye-V, Ear-E, Brain-E, Cheek-E, Hair-E, Vein-E, Sas-C, Sis-C; and even a Tea V drink that projected moving pictures.
    Astrid had to avert her gaze before she because nauseous. She was almost tempted to jam the puns back into the box and hammer it closed. Xanth without puns was empty, but Xanth with puns could be silly. But she clamped down her gorge and got to work with the others, flinging puns right, left, and away, restoring Pun Valley to its natural state.
    At last the box was empty, and the valley was recovering. Art set up his easel and started painting the scene. That was his way to relax, and his paintings were always marvelously realistic and lovely to behold.
    â€œYou know, I want to start on those Five Portraits,” he said as he worked. “But somehow I can’t. The muse won’t come. I don’t know what’s wrong.”
    â€œYou have Painter’s Block?” Kandy asked.
    â€œNo, I can paint