Free The Oracles by Margaret Kennedy Page B

East Head as soon as you can, because I ergently need your opinion. It is the Appollo I have been doing for Gressington. You must no all about that competition. I cannot make up my mind make up my mind about it. Sometimes I think it is no good and if it is no good I would rather not send it to Gressington. The subject does not interest me but I would like the money. They have given me some books to read about Appollo but the subject does not interest me. Sometimes I think it is all right though. If it is wrong you will see it at once. I shall be gided intirely by you. If you say send it to Gressington it goes, if not not. When I am not sure in my mind I have always relied on your opinion. Though you are generally wrong if we disagree when I am sure in my mind.
    I am not happy in my work lately. But this may be because I have indegestion. I never was ill before. I think it is the meals. We have got no cook. We are all rather ill, I think, and it will be a good thing when we can get away from here. There is nothing to do when I am not working except sail a yot which is expensive.
    If you feel that you would rather never see me again that is very reasonable. In that case do not bother to anser this letter. If you would like to see the Appollo but do not want to see her, it will be all rightif you come early in the morning because she does not get up till the afternoon. You could come to the studio and say what you think and go away again and she would never know that you had been. You could tell me if I am really going out of my mind.
    I have read this letter over and see that I have made several very stupid speling mistakes. But I cannot write it again because I have no more paper. I never spell well but these are idiotic. Can you wonder that I wonder about my work? You will see what I mean about going out of my mind. Of course I meant to write urgently, and know, and guided, and answer, and yatch. I repeat: your decision about Appollo is decisive.
    Yours ever,                         
    Conrad.              
    ‘Well,’ she said, giving the letter back, ‘it reads to me as if he’s going crackers.’
    ‘It struck me that way. Where’s he gone, do you think?’
    ‘He’s been talking a lot about Mexico.’
    ‘Oh, be your age! It’d be a wonder if he had the price of a ticket to Bristol. When did you last see him?’
    She screwed up her eyes, trying to remember.
    ‘Oh God! I don’t know. I don’t believe I’ve seen him since Thursday, when he asked me for half a crown.’
    ‘Where does he sleep, then?’
    ‘In the studio, more often than not.’
    ‘It didn’t strike you that he was going out of his mind?’
    ‘God no!’ she cried, startled. ‘I mean, I’ve thought he was mad for months. But … but … you don’t really think …’
    ‘This letter,’ he said, striking the pages with a thick forefinger, ‘frightens me. The spelling mistakes are not normal, even for Conrad. It sounds to me as if he’s going cuckoo, though he’s making a fight for it. Now he’s disappeared. I’m wondering if he mayn’t have lost his memory and be wandering about.’
    ‘Sweet Jesus! What a mess! But you don’t mean really mad. Not delusions. It’s quite a reasonable letter.’
    ‘Perhaps I should have said a nervous breakdown.’
    ‘Nonsense. Conrad is not that type. He’s too primitive , too virile.’
    ‘Primitive virile types get very bad ones, if they get them at all.’
    ‘Oh no! I’ve had three myself. They never affected my spelling. I merely got so I couldn’t stop crying.’
    ‘You were taken in time. I mean to start looking for him at once, as discreetly as I can. We don’t want a lot of publicity. Can you think of anything to help me? Where would he go?’
    ‘Oh dear! I’ve been so miserable myself lately I’ve hardly noticed what was happening to anybody else.’
    ‘You never do that, even when you aren’t miserable.’
    ‘You’re much fonder of him than