Free Efrain's Secret by Sofia Quintero Page B

“Two?”
    “You need to go harder. All that high and mighty about only selling weed?” Nestor’s tone brims with annoyance so this is how he genuinely feels about my position even though he had pretended to be cool with it. “It might keep your conscience clean, but it’s also going to keep your wallet light.” When I don’t say anything, he continues to lecture me. “Real talk, E. This is business. Supply and demand. If no one wanted coke, dope, crank, whatever, we wouldn’t sell it. Plain and simple. And that’s where the real money’s at, so if you don’t want to make it like that, E., fine. But don’t judge another man who does or whine about being broke. Go punch a clock at Old Navy or Dr. Jay’s or wherever your mother thinks you be at.”
    I’m too angry and embarrassed to speak, so Nestor barrels on. “And the third way to make money, E., is to move up. This ain’t no different than corporate America. You start in the rank and file, pay your dues, prove your worth to the firm. You get promoted and make more money. The higher up the rank you climb, the more money you make.”
    Nestor finally hears something in my silence and softens his tone. “Look, E., I know you’re on some other trip, and I ain’t mad at you for that. Why should you be trying to come up underSnipes with what you got going for you in the legitimate world? But you came to me, remember? You asked for an invitation to my neck of the urban jungle. Dudes push up on me all day, every day, son, asking me to hook ’em up, and I tell them to keep it movin’. Not only did I let you in, E., I’m trying to show you around and watch your back. So imagine how it’s going to reflect on me to Snipes and all the other fellas if you quit after one day, especially behind some BS like this.”
    We both stay quiet for a minute. Then I finally say, “Let me go. I still have some homework to finish before I turn in, and I have to be up by seven.”
    “A’ight.” Nestor hangs up the phone.
    I sit on the edge of my bed and pull off my shoes. As I scrape the money off the bedspread, I count it again, still hoping to find another twenty stuck to one of the bills. No dice. I put the money away in a shoebox in my closet and crawl into bed with my clothes on.
    The night has a way of raising the volume on the truth. Nestor’s words echo in my head, crowding out my dreams and keeping me awake. In the dark, I take inventory of all that I have going for me in the legitimate world.
    A mother who is long on love but short on cash.
    A younger sister who used to look up to me but is now chasing her father.
    A best friend who has some of the same goals but little of the same drive.
    The highest GPA at a high school where the most crowded table at the annual college fair belongs to the U.S. Army.
    A college advisor who’s rolling the dice against me.
    A few teachers who have my back but can’t give me a leg up.
    And a father who counts for so little, he’s the last to come to mind, and only because the dark forces me to reach.
    Since I can’t sleep, I decide to get up and study for the SAT. I grab my vocabulary list and cross off the words that I’m confident I know. There are actually quite a few, which gives me a boost, so I work on the rest until the dark gives up on me and crawls away from my window.

Discern (
v
.) to perceive, detect
    When I tell her I start my new job at Jimmy Jazz this Saturday, my moms sighs and says, “I guess your sister is old enough to stay by herself now.” We both want to keep her young, but what choice do we have?
    Obviously, I don’t go to Jimmy Jazz. Instead, I take my first week’s earnings and head downtown to the SAT prep center and put down a deposit for my course. Suddenly, the money seems like enough, and it feels mad good to take that step toward securing my future.
    When I get back to the apartment, I try to study for the SAT before I have to pick up Candace, but I can’t concentrate. This is my first date.