Free The Heart of Mine by Amanda Bennett Page B

it is."
    A stray tear rolled down my cheek and landed on my shirt as the weight of his words settled into my chest. He was right, about everything. I have always questioned myself because of my mother. I had always felt less than a person and never felt worthy of anybody's love, let alone a poor helpless child. What if I turn out to be exactly like my mother? I now had a better understanding as to how Madison has felt his whole life. I quietly turned on my heel, making my way back outside and onto the porch. I looked out over the expansive land wondering how this all was supposed to work out for us. We couldn't live at our grandparents for the rest of our lives. We needed a plan. One that would work for both of us.
    Just as I sat down in the rocking chair in the far corner, I heard Madison's voice break through the silent darkness.
    "Are you ignorin' me now? Kayla, after everything that has happened, you can't just ignore my phone calls. I worry too much about you."
    "I'm sorry." It was the only thing I could think to say at the moment. My mind was goin' about a million miles an hour tryin' to process the events of the last three days. Madison sat next to me, but he felt a state away. I needed him to understand what I was feeling, good and bad. "What if I'm not enough for our baby? What if I turn out like my mother?"
    Madison was instantly at my side, kneeling down in front of me.
    "Look at me, pretty girl. You are more than enough for this baby. He or she will love you unconditionally and without question, just as I do. We will make this work, I can promise you that much."
    I lifted my eyes enough so that I was looking directly at him. He literally took my breath away. Everything about him made me want to be the mother and wife he thought I could be. He deserved that much from me. The palm of his hand cupped my cheek and I pushed into it, like a cat wanting to be petted. His touch only intensified my feelings and I never wanted this feeling to end.
    "I believe you." I whispered.
    We sat in silence for a little while longer, when I finally decided to tell him about the text message.
    "Madison, I need to tell you something. I guess show you, would be the better term."
    "What is it, darlin'?"
    I slipped my hand into my boot to retrieve my phone. Just as I opened up the text message, his phone began to ring, startling me to no end.
    "Hold that thought." He put his finger up to tell me one second, as he walked away to answer his call.
    I couldn't hear much from where I sat, but I listened intently as he nodded his head saying yes, I understand and no. I fiddled with the hem on my dress as I sat patiently waiting for him to finish up. Then I heard the anger laced between every last word he spoke.
    "Don't you fuckin' dare. I will take care of it."
    He came sauntering back over to me and I couldn't hide the perplexed look on my face. Madison rarely got mad and he rarely used language like that with that much hostility behind them.
    "Who was that?"
    "No one you need to concern yourself with. I have an errand to run, you gonna be okay? Are we okay?"
    "Of course, cowboy. Go do what you need to do."
    He lightly kissed my forehead, "I love you Kayla James."
    "I love you too." The words felt more like a good-bye than a see ya later, and I found myself extremely worried.
    A few minutes later, Madison was gone and I was left alone. I watched him jog up the hill and disappear into the dark. A part of me wanted to follow him, to know exactly what he was up to. I just couldn't bring myself to do it though. I trusted him, and if it were something life or death, I knew deep down that he would've told me.
    I made my way inside the house and could instantly smell dinner cooking on the stove. The aroma of spices and butter assaulted my sense of smell and I ran full speed for the bathroom. When I was done emptying the contents of my stomach, which at this point was nothing, I walked back out to join my grandparents.
    "Dinner smells delicious Grams.