Free Heavy Weather by P. G. Wodehouse Page A

Gertrude Butte rwick and was strong again.
    ‘I say, I did that distant aloofness stuff rather well, don't you think?' 'Oh, yes.'
    'And pretty shrewd of me to grapple with a tricky situation so promptly and give you that instant pointer as to how matters stood?'
    ‘ Oh, yes.'
    'What do you mean, Oh, yes? It was genius.' He looked at her with some intentness. 'You seem a shade below par. Didn't the interview go off well?'
    'Oh, yes.'
    'Don't keep saying "Oh, yes." What happened?' 'Oh, we talked.'
    'Of course you talked, chump. What did you say?' ‘I told her about myself, and - oh, you know, all that sort of thing.'
    'And wasn't she chummy?' She reflected, biting her lip. 'She was quite nice.' ' I know what that means - rotten.'
    'No, she seemed perfectly friendly. Laughed a good deal and . . . well, just what you were saying. Lady Di. Bluff goodwill. But-'
    ' But you seemed to sense the velvet hand beneath the iron glove ? No, dash it, that's not right,' said Monty, musing. 'The other way about it should be, shouldn't it? You got the impression that she was simply waiting till your back was turned to stick a knife in it?'
    'A little. It's something about her eyes. She doesn't smile with them. Of course, I may be all wrong.'
    Monty looked dubious. He lit a cigarette and puffed at it thoughtfully.
    'No, I think you're right. I wish I didn't, but I do. I don't mind telling you that a second before you came in she was saying she was jolly well going to break the whole thing off.'
    'Oh?'
    'Of course,' Monty hastened to add consolingly, 'she hasn 't got a dog's chance of doing it. There are few more resolute birds than Ronnie. But she'll try her damnedest. Tough eggs, that Blandings Castle female contingent. Odd that they should be so much deadlier than the male. Look at old Emsworth ... old Gally . .. young Freddie. . . you've never met Freddie, have you?.. .All jolly good sorts. And against them you have this Julia, yonder Constance, and a whole lot more, all snakes of the first water. When you get to know that family better, you'll realize that there are dozens of aunts you've not heard of yet - far-flung aunts scattered all over England, and each the leading blister of her particular county. It's a sort of family taint. Still, as I say, old Ronnie is staunch. Nobody could talk him out of prancing up the aisle with the girl he loves.'
    'No,' said Sue, her eyes dreamy.
    'And now, pardon the suggestion, but wouldn't it be as well if you shoved off? Suppose she happened to come along and found us hobnobbing here like this?'
    'I never thought of that.'
    'Always think of everything,' said Monty paternally. He closed his eyes again. The train rattled on towards Market Blandings.
    Chapter Six
    It was nearly an hour after the two forty-five had arrived at its destination that a slower shabbier train crawled in and deposited Ronnie Fish on the platform of the little station of Market Blandings. The festivities connected with his cousin George's wedding and the intricacies of a railway journey across the breadth of England had combined to prevent an earlier return.
    He was tired, but happy. The glow of sentiment which warms young men in love when they watch other people getting married still lingered. Mendelssohn's well-known march was on his lips as he gave up his ticket, and it wa s with a perceptible effort that he checked himself from saying to the driver of the station cab, "Wilt thou, Robinson, take this Ronald to Blandings Castle?' Even when he reached his destination and found the hands of the grandfather clock in the hall pointing to ten to eight, his exuberance did not desert him. It was his pride that he could shave, bathe, and dress, always provided that nothing went wrong with the tie, in nine and a quarter minutes.
    Tonight, all was well. The black strip of C repe-de-Chine assumed the perfect butterfly shape of its own volition, and at eight precisely he was standing in the combination drawing-room and picture-gallery in