and only,” Aki said cheerily.
Watching the dog’s mouth form words was so strange it was causing Andy to feel a sense of vertigo, as though his mind just couldn’t grasp what was happening. Averting his gaze so as not to stare straight into its toothy maw, he said, “You could have just said something before we tried to put you to sleep!”
“Well, you didn’t give me much of a chance, and frankly I’m not sure I could have relied on their benevolence. That one fellow with the keys was even talking earlier about taking it upon himself to come back here and put a bullet in me!” As Aki spoke, the cardkey on the ward guard’s belt came unclipped, and floated over to hang in the air between them.
“How…how are you doing that?” Andy stammered.
“With my mind,” Aki growled in a deep, mocking tone, before his tongue spilled out and he burst into a wheezing laugh. “Seriously human, my species doesn’t have thumbs. We were either going to have to hammer everything together with our mouths or figure out something a bit more refined. Hey, grab that catchpole and let’s get upstairs. Orak is calling for me. We can explain things all at once when we’re together.”
“The…the catchpole?”
“Yes. Put it on me, and hold onto it while you take me upstairs. Your kind are particularly susceptible to the illusion of control. If we get stopped, just tell the truth. You are taking me to Orak.”
Getting to his feet, Andy picked up the catchpole and slipped the noose over Aki’s muzzle. Struggling to open it wider, he finally managed to slip it over the dog’s massive head and neck. While trying to figure out how to hold the pole, he asked, “What do you mean by ‘the illusion of control’?”
“Your kind are easy to fool, as long as you think you’re in charge. Not just this,” Aki said, pointing his snout at the guards gently snoring on the ground. “But in all kinds of things. Hey, remember that election you Americans had, where those Clinton and Trump people were running? That’s a perfect example. Everyone in your government knew full well who was always going to be the candidates for your President. Your political system even has these insane ‘super delegate’ rules that guarantee the ‘will of the party’ can be carried out, overruling the ‘will of the people.’ Your entire process is rigged. Still, they had to drum up interest in the election to generate money, and get you lazy bastards motivated enough to go vote by propping up other candidates across from them to make it look like a ‘race’, or to help you believe you had some actual part in it by making your ‘choice.’ There was never a choice for you, it was just a…pardon the expression, dog and pony show. Now, grab that card,” Aki instructed. “Unless you want me to keep flapping it around in the air.”
Andy reached out slowly for the card, which was still dangling in midair. The card zipped forward into his hand, and he dropped it with a muffled yelp from under his helmet. Aki wheezed laughter at him again, and once Andy collected the key, they moved away from the three snoring figures stretched out across the ward.
“Are they going to be ok?” Andy asked, looking back at the officers.
“Sure, they were all big boys. Once you get me to Orak, you might want to have someone come help them. They are probably going to be a bit upset when they wake up.”
Gripping the catchpole loosely, Andy used the keycard to unlock the solitary ward, then led Aki back upstairs to the quarantine room. Even with the current crisis there were not many agents in this part of the building at night, and they encountered no one until they approached the two soldiers outside of the airlock. The pair stiffened when they saw Aki appear around the corner at the end of the catchpole, and both readied their weapons.
“Hold it!” the soldier nearest to them called. “No one informed us the animal was being brought up here.”
Andy shrugged
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