Free Give Me Reason (The Reason Series) by Zoey Derrick Page B

being a bitch – something that he most certainly does not deserve. Slurping a spoonful of soup, I contemplate calling him and decide that all I would do is torture myself because I can't be the all-accepting person he wants me to be.
    But there is also the fact that I reacted so quickly to his insistence on helping me that I don’t even know what his offer to help entails. This doesn’t help me feel any better about my reaction to him. Is he really trying to help, no stings attached? Just being generous? Would he have done this with anyone else, or is it just me? Is his help a long-term thing, or only until the baby is born?
    For the first time since I told Riley I was pregnant, I consciously touch the pouch between my hips. Chills of delight dance across my skin. I switch hands, placing my right across my belly, and pick up my spoon to take another sip of broth.  
    Considering it’s hospital food, it's really not half bad. But then again, cardboard would probably taste good to me right now. I meant to eat something earlier, when Mikah was here, but I kept falling asleep. I plow through the soup, bread roll, fruit and crackers in what feels like less than five minutes. I still feel hungry, but I don't want to overdo it.  
    I sit back and pick up the book that Dr. Alston left for me, What to Expect When You're Expecting . The cover has a picture of a pregnant woman standing against a blue background, and the back jacket promises that the book will help me understand my body and my baby throughout the various stages of pregnancy. It looks very...clinical.
    I open it and start to read. I was right — it is quite clinical — but there are some really cool things in here. Now I understand why my breasts hurt so much. I also learn that the vomiting and exhaustion should start to ease soon. The prospect of this is exciting on so many levels.  

    Eventually Amanda returns to my room. Once she’s satisfied that I ate everything, she pulls me from my bed to walk around the hallway. I’d rather not walk — I’m feeling sleepy again — but she lures me out with the prospect of removing my IV, and I can't resist.  
    It turns out that I am in the maternity ward. A couple of other women walk the halls, too. Every so often they stop and groan. They must be in labor. I shudder. I'm still trying to come to grips with the fact that I'm pregnant, never mind the prospect of labor or — I shudder again — delivery.  
    Once we are back in my room, Amanda removes my IV. Another nurse, Jackie, comes in and introduces herself as the nurse on duty tonight. I'm told to push the button if I need anything. She will be back in a few hours to check on me, but for the most part, she'll leave me to sleep.  
    I say thank you and goodnight to Amanda, who reassures me she'll be back in the morning even if Dr. Alston can't make it.  
    Once they're gone, I roll onto my side, gently placing my hand upon the small mound. Lying in this position again reminds me of when Mikah was here, his eyes bright green with wonder. I can no longer ignore the fact that I feel horrible for kicking him out. The more I think about it, the more I am convinced he was just trying to help.
    I've never had someone willingly want to take care of me the way that Mikah does, and it makes it hard for me to accept without suspecting there is more to it than meets the eye. Riley always paid for everything and I never worked, but I was expected to do things to him and for him in return. But somehow I can’t believe can’t believe Mikah operates that way. But if I'm going to consider accepting his help, Mikah needs to back off from pushing me to do things.  
    What’s more, since that ultrasound and reading some of the stuff Dr. Alston left me, I'm finally beginning to see that this is far bigger than I've allowed myself to realize.
    I slowly rub my hand across my tummy. "You give me reason," I whisper, and then I fall asleep.

THIRTEEN
    Around ten the next morning, I'm in