Free Something Happened by Joseph Heller Page B

good administrator. Is that enough to encourage you?”
    “Kagle’s a good man, Art,” I say.
    “He’s a good salesman, Bob,” Arthur replies, emphasizing the distinction. “And you’ll probably be allowed to keep him on as a salesman if we decide to make the change and you decide you want to.”
    “I know I’d want to.”
    “We’ll probably let you keep him as an assistant even, or as a consultant on special projects with people he’d be good with. But he hasn’t been a good manager, and we don’t think he’s going to be able to get better. Kagle doesn’t go along with the rest of us on too many things, and that’s very important in his job. He lies a lot. Horace White wants me to get rid of him just because he does tell lies to us. He still travelstoo much, although I’ve told him I want him to spend more time here. He dresses terribly. He still wears brown shoes. That shouldn’t count, I know; but it does count, and he ought to know that by now. He doesn’t send in my call reports.”
    “Most of the stuff on the call reports isn’t true.”
    “I know that. But I have to have them anyway for my own work.”
    “Brown is in charge of that,” I have to point out.
    “He doesn’t control Brown.”
    “That isn’t easy.”
    “He’s afraid of him.”
    “So am I,” I admit.
    “And so am I,” he admits. “But I would control him or get rid of him if he worked for me. Would you?”
    “Brown is married to Black’s niece.”
    “I wouldn’t let that matter. We wouldn’t let Black interfere if it came to doing something about Brown.”
    “Would you let me fire him?”
    “If you decided you really wanted to, although we’d prefer to transfer him. Kagle could have had him fired, but by now Brown has a better grasp of specifics than he has. Kagle never wants to fire anybody, even the ones who are drunks or dishonest or useless in other ways. He won’t fire Parker or retire Phelps, and he doesn’t cooperate with Green. And he still discriminates in the people he hires, although he’s been warned about that, too.”
    “It’s a very big job,” I say.
    “We think you might be able to handle it.”
    “If I couldn’t?”
    “Let’s not think about that now.”
    “I have to,” I say with a grin.
    He grins back sympathetically. “We’d find another good job for you somewhere else in the company if you found you wanted to stay here, unless you did something disgraceful or dishonest, and I’m sure that wouldn’t happen. You don’t have to decide now. This is just an idea of mine, and it’s anything but definite, so please keep it secret. But we are trying to look ahead, and we’d like to know what we’regoing to do by convention time. So give it some serious thought, will you, and let me know if you would take it if we did decide to move Kagle out and give it to you. You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to—I promise you that—and you won’t be penalized if you don’t.” He smiles again as he stands up and continues in a lighter tone. “You’ll still get your raise this year and a good cash bonus. But we think you should. And you might just as well begin preparing yourself while you make up your mind.”
    “What should I do?”
    “Keep close to Kagle and the salesmen and try to find out even more about everything that’s happening. Decide what realistic goals to establish and what changes you would have to make to achieve them if we did put you in charge.”
    “I like Andy Kagle.”
    “So do I.”
    “He’s been very good to me.”
    “It isn’t your fault. We’d move him out anyway. He’ll probably be happier working for you on special projects. Will you think about it?”
    “Of course.”
    “Good. You’ll keep this quiet, won’t you?”
    “Sure.”
    “Thank you, Bob.”
    “Thank you, Art.”
    “What did Arthur Baron want?” Green demands, the instant I’m out in the corridor.
    “Nothing,” I answer.
    “Did he say