Free Dark Arts by Randolph Lalonde Page A

motorcycle ramp that Max used to store his bike in the back
of the bus. It also kept the back door closed tight. People were
starting to gather, to witness whatever bad trip was taking place
inside the black bus.
    “Max chased him onto the bus,” the drummer
said. “They’re in there now.”
    “How much LSD is he on?” Miranda asked.
    “Well, the fuzz stopped us this morning,”
Bernie started.
    “More like noon,” Scott added. “They
searched us, thank god we finished smoking my weed last night, so
they didn’t find anything on me, but Zack bought a whole vial of
LSD from some bikers outside of Ottawa, and it was almost full. He
told the cops it was eye drops, and then he puts a drop into each
eye, I think one took two drops, but I wasn’t close enough.”
    “Yup, one eye took two,” Bernie
confirmed.
    “Black leather heathen!” Zack shouted from
inside the bus. “You have me cornered, but you come with envy in
your heart, and so your lies may as well be told to fish! No ears!
They go pwah, pwah, pwah!”
    “Yes, you’re the greatest lead singer the
world has ever seen,” Maxwell could be heard saying through the
open windows on the side of the bus.
    “Flatterer! Pimp! Ennnglishmaaannnnn!” Zack
screamed as the sounds of bottles and other random articles were
heard being jostled and tipped.
    Bernie came around the side of the bus in
time to see Max stride all the way to the front, then through the
folding doors. He pulled them closed behind him and put a broom
handle through the loop on the front so they stayed that way.
“Git!” he shouted over his shoulder. “Does anyone have a cigarette?
I’m not calm enough for this,” he said, pulling his leather jacket
off. Bernie took it and hung it over a nearby lawn chair.
    “Nothing to see here!” Maxwell shouted to
the two dozen people beginning to gather. “Man’s diabetic, just
needs his shot, and someone’s coming with it now.”
    “Diabolical!” Zack shouted, poking his head
and one shoulder through an open window. His eyes were wild, his
long hair was disheveled to the point of looking like three
sparrows’ nests. “He’ll castrate all of you!”
    “Very bad reaction,” Max countered.
    Miranda’s Aunt Susanna added; “Please, go
for a swim, it’s too hot to stand around in the grass. Shoo,” and
to Bernie’s surprise, they listened. She carried an open tin with
cheese, crackers and sandwiches inside. The bottom had a separate
compartment for ice. “Is it peyote?” she asked, her Italian accent
in full evidence.
    Their drummer lit a cigarette and handed it
to Max, who took a long draw and let it out slowly. “Worse,” he
said as he finished. “About half an ounce of LSD. May I?”
    Susanna brought the large tin container
forward and raised it as it swung a little on its handle. “You must
be hungry.”
    “Famished,” Max said. “Not just for me
though.” He took a slice of cheese and a half sandwich and stuffed
half of both in his mouth.
    “Can you really calm him down from this?”
Miranda asked.
    “I am the model of calm!” Zachary barked.
“Clouds and naked babies singing harps!”
    “He can,” Scott replied. “But he can’t if
he’s high strung. Man, you gotta loosen up, what’s got you
tense?”
    Bernie barely caught Max’s glance towards
Miranda, and silently wondered what could be so wrong about her
that his best friend would see her as a source of stress. She
didn’t say anything but walked away, towards the main house.
    “Ooh, who’s the new girl?” Zack asked from
the window. “Sad to see her leave, love to watch her walk
away!”
    Maxwell stabbed two pointing fingers towards
Zackary with a murderous look. “Git!”
    “Retreat!” howled Zachary as he fell back
into the bus.
    Maxwell put the second half of the sandwich
back and hurried the rest of his chewing as he walked after Miranda
in a hurry. She turned towards him when he’d crossed half the
distance. “I’m glad you’re here,” he