glasses, which would make her slink out again.
But the majority of the time sheâd been welcomed there.
Now she felt like an intruder.
She ordered herself not to think about it. She would simply do what sheâd come to do. After all, they were her papers.
She walked to the first of the wooden file cabinets. Anything she needed to find would be in this room, she knew. Her father took care of the finances, the record keeping, the filing.
She opened the top drawer and began to search.
A n hour later, she went downstairs to brew a pot of coffee. Since she was there anyway, she raided the pantry and dug up a bag of low-sodium potato chips. Pitiful, she decided as she carted the snack upstairs. What was the point in living longer if you had to eat cardboard?
She took a ten-minute break at the desk. At the rate she was going, it wasnât going to take her as long as sheâd estimated. Her fatherâs files were meticulously organized.Sheâd have been nearly done already if she hadnât gotten caught up in the file dedicated to her report cards and grades.
Walking back through her own past had been irresistible. Looking through the school file made her think of the friends sheâd hadâthe digs sheâd organized in backyards in elementary school. Her pal Donny Riggs had caught hell from his mom over the holes theyâd dug in her garden.
She thought of her first real kiss. Not Donny, but Joe Torrento, her heartthrob at thirteen. Heâd worn a black leather jacket and Redwing boots. Heâd seemed pretty sexy and dangerous to her at thirteen. Last sheâd heard, he was teaching biology at St. Bernadetteâs High School in Cherry Hill, had two kids and served as head of the local Rotary.
There was her best friend and next-door neighbor Natalie Carmichael. Theyâd been as close as sisters, had shared every secret. Then college had come, and after a year or so of trying to maintain the connection, theyâd drifted apart.
Because it made her sad to think of it, she got up again and began to go through the second file cabinet.
Like the school file, medical records were precisely organized. She flipped past the folder marked for her mother and the one marked for her father and drew out her own.
It was where she should have started in the first place, she realized, and certain the simple proof she wanted would be there, she sat again. Opened the file.
She noted the childhood inoculations, the X rays and reports on the broken arm sheâd suffered at ten when sheâd fallen out of a tree. There was her tonsillectomy in June 1983. The dislocated finger sheâd earned trying to slam-dunk during a pickup basketball game when sheâd been sixteen.
She reached for more chips as she continued to scan the paperwork. Heâd even kept the basic stuff from every one of her annual checkups until sheâd moved out of the house. Jesus, even from the gynecologist.
âDad,â she muttered. âThatâs just anal.â
She didnât react until sheâd gone straight through every paper. Then she simply turned the file over and went through every paper a second time.
But she found no hospital records of her birth. No paperwork from pediatric exams for the first three months of her life.
Didnât mean anything. She rubbed a fist between her breasts when her breathing quickened. He just filed them somewhere else. A baby file. Or he put them in with her motherâs medicals.
Yes, that was it. Heâd kept the documentation of her pregnancy and had kept his daughterâs earliest records with that. To close the event.
To prove to herself she wasnât worried, she poured more coffee, sipped at it before she rose to replace her file and pull out her motherâs.
She couldnât, wouldnât, feel guilty for going through papers not her own. It was only to put all this to rest. She scanned through, trying to pick up key data without actually