Free Seize the Booty! (Erotica Arcanus) by E.E. Wellington Page A

recognized the ship's Jolly Roger flag and whispered, "My God. It's Calico Jack's ship, the Ace of Spades. He'll kill everyone on board and scuttle us, for certain."
    I paused to listen for the men walking on the deck above me, hoping to hear someone shout, "Pirates, ahoy!" or "Man the guns!" At the very least I expected to feel the ship lurch sideways as we attempted to outrun them.
    Nothing.
    I raced around below the deck, looking up through the cracks in the floorboards to where the men were just standing idly by, talking and laughing, and remaining oblivious to our impending doom. "Psst!" I hissed. "Pirates!"
    The first mate stopped and spun around, searching for who'd spoken. "You say somethin'?" he called out.
    "Pirates! Dead ahead!" I whispered.
    The stupid bastard stuck a pudgy finger in his ear and inspected the wax that came out on its tip, then he walked away from the place I was standing. I tried to find someone else, but by then it was too late.
    The sidewall of the starboard hull exploded to fragments just a few feet from where I stood, sending me hurtling backwards through sacks of rice and flour. In the choking smoke and stink of burning wood, someone finally cried out, "Pirates, ahoy!"
    "Yes, you idiots. Now you get it," I muttered as I hoisted myself from the floor. Men raced past me down the stairs to try and stop up the damage. I brushed myself off and snarled at them, "Oh sure, now you're all running around. Buffoons."
    The first mate pushed his way to the front of the group and said, "Who the hell are you?"
    I bowed quickly and said, "Gerard Fawkes, at your service. Now, if you'll be so kind as to stop up this hole before we sink I'll go and see if we might mount some sort of defense."
    I hurried past them, even as their dull-witted brains began to realize that I did not belong there. "Where in the blazes did he come from?"
    " How the bloody hell should I know? Never seen him before, have I?"
    One of the deckhands smacked the other and said, "I told you there was somebody else on this ship, goin' around fixin' the riggings ! I said there were knots I ain't never seen before."
    "Get out of the way , you idiots!" I shouted. "We cannot just sit there. Christ alive, they have more than one cannonball."
    And as if Calico Jack himself had heard my voice, a second cannonball struck the ship, this time tearing a hole in the bow so large that a large wave brought a clap of sea water through it. I turned away from the group to head up the stairs. It was worse than I'd thought. The pirate's vessel loomed high over our short merchant ship like a terrifying, floating giant.
    All of the pirate crew pressed up against the edge of the hull, looking down at us. They were a colorfully costumed group, bearing an assortment of eye-patches and scarves and wicked-looking weapons. They smiled at us with leering, gold-capped teeth or sometimes no teeth at all and as I looked up at them, I saw him.
    He was the most magnificent man I'd ever seen.
    Dressed in a long white shirt that was open to his chest, draped with a scarlet red coat around his shoulders. His thick black hair was pulled back beneath his hat, revealing only the thick scruffy sideburns adorning his cheeks and a pointed beard and mustache. It was Calico Jack, the infamous pirate captain, and he smiled down at the rest of us as he said, "Good afternoon, lads. Welcome to the New World. What goodies did you bring me?"
    Standing at the captain's side was a woman who made my jaw fall open. She was a lady-pirate. I'd never seen one before. I'd heard rumors of them, of course, but they were nothing more than bar-room stories drunken men told for laughs. She was holding a cutlass in front of her and leaning on it, bent forward so that her generous bosom nearly spilled out of her open shirt. Her dark hair was tucked under a colorful scarf, and her eyes were traced with heavy black lines that made her look like an Egyptian Queen.
    "Well?" Calico Jack said when none of us