Free Part of Me (Jessa & Paxton #1) by Haven Francis Page B

and watching the world slow down around me.
    I can lose myself for minutes at a time on either of my boards, but it’s not enough. I’ve been telling myself that it’s just ‘cause she’s there – in Chicago. It’s just her mingled with my shitty memories that’s making me all territorial and psychotic. But, hell, I can’t get the girl out of my head. I can’t keep living like this. I need to know, one way or the other, what the hell is going on. Here, with my head clear for the few seconds my ride will take, I know that I don’t have a choice. I have to go back to that hell and see if part of me is still there.
    I pop out on the deck and look over to Santos, pointing my finger to the street. Now that I’ve made my decision all I want to do is go. I want to see her now.
    I head home to get my shit and break the news to Gabriel. He ain’t gonna be happy about this.
    I find him on the front stoop where he’s already drinking with our neighbor. “Why you looking like you’re on some mission?” he asks me.
    “I’m heading back to Chicago for a few days,” I tell him, heading inside to get my shit.
    “What?” he asks, standing up and following me inside. “What the hell are you talking about?”
    “It’s just a couple of days, Gabriel. I got a situation I have to take care of.”
    He shakes his head at me and lets out a long breath. “You watch your back in that place,” he tells me as I throw my shit that’s scattered around the living room into my duffle.
    “I’ll lay low, Pops. You don’t gotta worry.” He knows that if word of my presence in that city makes it back to Rachel we’ll be living on stamps.
    “ I gotta bad feeling about this, niño. You’re finally home and I don’t want you anywhere near her.”
    “I’m grown , Gabriel. There’s nothing she can do to me now.”
    “She can cut your ass off and you know she’s one cold-blooded snake. She’s not gonna give you no second chances.”
    “Maybe I want to be cut off, Pops. Maybe we don’t need to be taking that charity money, huh?”
    “You suggesting I go get me a suit and try to hustle it in some office building? Maybe I’ll go make some sliders for a living, getting minimum wage. We’re living good, Pax. We’re getting by easy. If that tight ass bitch wants to pay your way, and mine too, I’ll take it. She owes both of us for keeping you away from me. Your home now. You need to stay here.”
    I shake my head. The money thing is starting to become an issue in my own head. I’m still under them. Still a dog. Can’t even go where I need to. Can’t buy nothing without feeling like a dirty whore. “It would just be nice if I could cleanse her out of my system completely.”
    “Don’ t get all high and mighty on me, niño. Take care of your situation and come home. We’re the ones taking advantage of them, don’t get it all warped.”
    “We’re definitely taking something. Doesn’t feel like advantage,” I tell him, giving him a slap on the back and heading out the door.
     
    Getting in my car and driving out of the city makes me feel nauseous. Knowing that I’m headed back to Chicago feels like some kind of sick joke. Of all the cities in the world, why’d she have to choose that one?
    And why can’t I let it go?
    Who gives a shit if she’s back in the game and considering finding a new fuck buddy? According to Violet, she’s got everyone in that small pocket of Chicago that I used to consider mine falling all over themselves. Shit shouldn’t bother me. Her life is there and my life is in Venice. That should be the end of it.
    Before, in River Bluff and on campus, her options were guys like Dylan. Guys that s he would always be too much for. Guys that would never be what she needs. But a guy like Elijah…. that shit’s just too close to home and I know what he’s capable of  - he could maybe tame her and make her his. After the shit that I wadded through last time I was in that town I would think Elijah