Free Men-of-Action-Seres-04 -Saints and Sinners by Capri Montgomery Page A

door close again. Teagan was getting attached to another woman who would leave her. Maybe the problem was he was Saints and Sinners 76
    getting attached. He had wondered how Gavin could do it—fall for a woman who was so entrenched in his mission. He had thought it was a fool thing to do—that Gavin put himself in jeopardy. He had wondered how Gavin could be willing to compromise his mission, risk getting himself killed for a woman. Now he understood how men like Gavin McGregor could let lust—love even—happen. They let it happen because the only choice they had was to fight it. It was a hard, unyielding war they would wage with their emotions. The difference was men like Gavin McGregor weren’t so dead set on hating women that they felt the war was worth the energy. He was, and he did—until now. Now he questioned his motives, his reasons, his own desires. He couldn’t let that happen.
    Doubting his decision was the fastest way to lose the battle.
    “Are you going to stand out there all day; or are you going to come in here?”
    He walked into the kitchen. His mother’s all-knowing eyes looked intently at him. She had the harshest blue eyes he had ever seen. Somehow it always seemed as if she were reading a person’s soul with them.
    “I figured you were out there when I heard the board squeak.” She shook her head.
    “I’ll fix it,” he said though he wasn’t sure which it he was referring to.
    “She’s not Kathryn you know?”
    “You don’t need to apologize for me either.” Capri Montgomery 77
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    “Somebody had to; as it was clear you weren’t going to do it for yourself.” She said in a tone that told him she was silently saying, “I raised you better than that,” and she had. She had raised him better, so had his father. “She’s hurting so deeply I wonder if she will ever heal,” she shook her head once more. “No one should ever have to face that pain alone. Yet she has for years, and still, she tries to see the good in the world around her.”
    Unlike him. Those were the words his mother hadn’t verbally said, but he was sure that’s what she was thinking. Alaina had gone through hell her entire life and still she behaved better than he had. His mother didn’t need to say the words. He already felt ashamed of his own actions. He felt enough shame to last a thousand lifetimes. She had raised him better than that, and in his own pain, his own desire to avoid ever facing that pain again, he had in essence become the one person he hated—his actions, while different, were no better than Kathryn’s actions.
    “How long will you stay?”
    “Just the night,” he said. “It’s not safe for me to keep her here.” He had a responsibility, not only to protect Alaina, but to protect his family as well. His mother looked at him, as if studying him.
    “She’s pretty.”
    He shrugged before walking away. He didn’t want to think of Alaina as pretty. He didn’t want to think of her at all. He needed this assignment over, and fast, because it was the only way to extract himself from the threat. Instead of working on figuring out who was trying to get Saints and Sinners 78
    to her he was playing babysitter. He couldn’t keep this role up for long.
    The woman had single handedly broken down the wall he had built around his heart, and if he didn’t escape soon she would find her way into it, entrench herself so securely that he wouldn’t be able to get her out.
    He watched Teagan play with Alaina most of the day, before Teagan decided he needed to play too. Alaina had made an excuse to leave the two of them to each other, one that apparently had satisfied Teagan enough not to protest. He saw it for the excuse it was, but Teagan hadn’t.
    Then, he sat through what was probably one of the most uncomfortable dinners of his life. Alaina sat across from him, silently eating her dinner and speaking only when spoken to. Teagan had kept most of the chatter going until, being the bright child