Free Getting Wilde by Jenn Stark Page A

 
    “Right.” I drew in a long, staggering breath. I’d held firm. I’d stayed separate.  
    So why did I feel like crap?  
    Looking as if he’d done nothing but poured himself a drink, Armaeus leaned against the solid wooden chest, watching me with interest, but no longer the kind of interest that inspired such terrifying, blinding need inside me. So, hey. Progress.  
    I straightened under his regard. “Was that why I blacked out the first time?” I asked. “Why I lost my memories? It was all just—too much?”  
    The Magician shrugged, but he could not hide his own fascination with the question. “I can assure you, I do not know.” His lips quirked into a dangerous smile. “Yet.”    
    “Not going to happen.” I shoved my hair back over my neck, resecuring my ponytail, no longer caring how he watched my every movement, no longer caring about anything except how glad I was that the Tyet had worked in the end, just as Nikki Dawes had said it would. I remembered everything that had happened between Armaeus and me this time, even if I couldn’t understand it. Even if I didn’t ever want to feel that horrible sense of panic, of urgency, that drive to have sex with Armaeus that was so strong it couldn’t be right. This wasn’t lust. It sure as hell wasn’t love. It was a need that I couldn’t merely classify as carnal, and it had come so close to burning through my defenses that I still could barely breathe.  
    What was wrong with me?  
    Armaeus, seeing the torrent of emotions no doubt plainly chasing their way across my face, took a step toward me, and I all but hissed, holding out a hand to stop him in his tracks.  
    And speaking of hands…  
    “You tied me up ,” I spit out. “How dare you do that! How dare you think to do that?”  
    Now it was his turn to let anger harden his features for a moment, as his brows rose in sardonic curiosity. “You asked me to bind you, Miss Wilde,” he said, his certainty inviolable.  
    “I what ?” I stared at him, shock flooding through me. I didn’t remember asking him to do anything like that, I didn’t remember! Yet there was no question that I had; I could see it in Armaeus’s eyes. The Magician might be insufferably arrogant, might use any trick in his impressive arsenal to persuade me to a course of action, but he was honorable, in the end. He did not trespass where he was not wanted. And I had wanted him—apparently, I’d wanted him so much that I’d asked him to…  
    I shook my head—I truly couldn’t recall what I’d said, but that was secondary to the larger issue. Why had that memory been wiped away? What was my mind protecting me from?    
    “Did I…” I grimaced, hating that I had to ask for such clarification, but I had to know. “Did I ask you to do that last time?” We’d never spoken about the first time we’d almost made love. As soon as Armaeus had realized that I’d truly lost all recall, he’d gotten very quiet and very intrigued and had just…watched me. Like he was staring at me now, in fact. I’d gotten out of his bedroom so fast, my feet had barely hit his insanely expensive marble floor, and I’d found Nikki and her Tyet the next day. And the Tyet had held this night, after all. No matter what I’d asked of Armaeus, no matter how much I’d desired him, I hadn’t given in to that unfathomable need.  
    Not completely. Not yet.  
    “Miss Wilde—”  
    I waved off his response. “Never mind,” I said heavily, willing myself to put everything that didn’t matter aside so I could focus on what did.  
    The job mattered. Only the job. That and putting one step in front of the other, walking and walking and walking until you knew no one was behind you. You knew no one was looking. You knew that no one cared.  
    So you couldn’t hurt them.  
    I squared my shoulders. “Okay—what do I need to find this little gold box of yours? You have a map or something, or am I just going in with the cards?”