Free Euuuugh! Eyeball Stew! by Alan MacDonald Page A

right?’
    Borg nodded sulkily.
    â€˜So what are we doing, Chief?’ repeated Iggy’s dad.
    Hammerhead considered, glancing up at the grey sky.
    â€˜We’ll drive her to the Crags.’
    Mammoth Crags lay beyond the forest – a tall dome of brown rock rising above a valley. It was a favourite hunting ploy of the Urks to climb the Crags and lie in wait. When the rhino passed by they would launch their attack, raining down rocks and spears from above. It was simple but effective, with the added advantage that no one got killed (apart from the rhino). The only downside of the plan was that someone had to drive the beast out of the forest and towards the Crags. Iggy wondered which poor fool the Chief was going to pick.
    One hour later he was tramping through the forest, beating the undergrowth with a stick. His arm ached and he was sweating. So far the only beast he and Hubba had flushed out was a startled frog. Iggy had come on the hunt hoping to impress everyone with his new invention, but this way they wouldn’t even take part in the kill. He waded through cold muddy water, cutting with his stick at a clump of tall reeds. Suddenly he was startled by something that leapt out. He caught a glimpse of red hair and wide, frightened eyes. A girl. The next moment she was off, scrabbling up the bank and crashing through the trees.
    â€˜HEY, WAIT!’ yelled Iggy. He signalled to Hubba and the two of them gave chase.
    They plunged through the forest, dropping their sticks and weaving through the trees. Iggy forgot all about the woolly rhino – all he could think about was catching up with the girl. He lost sight of her, then saw a flash of red hair up ahead.
    Finally they emerged from the trees and stood panting for breath. They had reached the dusty valley where the river had dried up. Just ahead were Mammoth Crags, the dark rocks rising to a dizzy height. Iggy could see the hunting party crouched on top, making a hopeless attempt to keep out of sight. Just short of the Crags he caught sight of the red-haired girl. She was standing perfectly still, gazing at something to her left. Iggy turned his head and saw it: a huge male rhino, shaggy and brown, moody as an ogre with toothache. The girl gazed spellbound at the rhino and it looked right back. Iggy tried to remember what you should do in this kind of situation. He was pretty sure it wasn’t challenge the rhino to a staring match.

    Woolly Rhinoceros
    Size: Huge. Up to 3.5 metres long
    Weight: 4 tonnes (as heavy as 50 Urks)
    Diet: Mosses, herbs, low-growing plants
    Features: Long fur, thick legs, short temper
    Weapons: Pair of wickedly sharp horns
    Speed: Up to 30 miles an hour on the charge
    Things NOT TO do if a rhino charges:
    a) Turn your back
    b) Do your hilarious rhino impression
    c) Shout ‘Hey, big nose! Can’t catch me!’

    The rhinoceros tossed back its head and stirred the dust with one of its massive feet.
    â€˜It’s going to charge,’ whispered Hubba.
    Iggy nodded. ‘Why doesn’t she run?’
    â€˜Maybe she’s too tired.’
    Iggy couldn’t bear to watch any longer.
    â€˜RUN!’ he shouted. ‘RUN!’
    The red-haired girl didn’t seem to hear – either that or she was frozen with terror. Iggy quickly unhooked the boo from his shoulder and took aim with one of his arrows. He hesitated. The rhino’s hide was tough as armour. One arrow might not be enough to bring it down and there would be no time to shoot a second. He couldn’t risk it. There was only one chance and that was to reach the girl before it was too late.
    The rhino lowered its head, snorted and lumbered forward. Iggy didn’t stop to think. He set off, running fast across the stony ground.
    â€˜Iggy, no!’ cried Hubba.
    The girl turned her head towards him, her eyes wide and frightened. The ground shook like an earth tremor as the rhino gained speed, pounding towards her. The curved horn on its