Free Guardian of the Abyss by Shannon Phoenix Page B

Abaddon's arms around her. She wanted to jump into the water and run away and never come back, too, though. It wasn't really fair since she'd already seen so much. She just as well let him see some of her vulnerabilities, too. But it was surprisingly hard to state the truth.
    "When I was young," she began, "I had an unusual talent. An ability, really. When I met people, I could see the past lives they were most struggling with in this one."
    She felt him tense behind her. She dreaded that he would say something and she wouldn't be able to continue. But he said nothing, just standing behind her, his hands returning to their caressing motion on her arms. "Go on."
    Screwing up her courage, she did. "I didn't know better at the time, so I shared it with them. As Catholics, my parents thought I was possessed. They took me in to be exorcised. When I was too stupid to shut up after that, they had it done again. It really terrified me." She took a deep breath, even though intellectually she knew she didn't need it anymore. "I finally quit talking about it, but it never went away."
    She turned to face him. Meeting the black pools of his eyes with her own, she finished, "I did the same thing with you, except that I saw all of your current life and none of your past ones. It was all just sort of downloaded into my mind at once. I've seen the way the sorcerers tortured you and forced you to be with those women. I saw the way Lilith treated you. I saw it all."  She dropped her head onto his chest and stepped against him, wrapping her arms around him as he enclosed her. "I know you because I saw you. I saw your struggles, your sorrows, your regrets. And I saw that you are a genuinely noble person." She felt tears well in her eyes and was surprised that she could still cry since becoming a gargoyle. "You deserve better than me, but I'm too selfish to wish you find her."
    He had to bend forward to lay his cheek on her head. "You undervalue yourself."
    She looked up at him. His golden skin glowed with life, leaving a halo all around him. It fit the true nobility of his soul. "That's a thousand times truer of you than it will ever be of me."
    "Sarah, even my son refuses to speak to me." Sorrow lined his face and bled into their connection, overwhelming her.
    "He doesn't know the truth. He doesn't understand what really happened. And he was wrong not to let you tell him."
    He shook his head. "He was right. I did terrible things."
    "You chose the lesser of two evils and did your best to make things as good as possible for what remained of the lives of those families. What happened to them was not your fault, it was the fault of the men who did this to them and to you." She took a deep breath, knowing he wasn't going to like what she said next, "They served their purpose, though they would be enraged to find out that they were serving the world, not winning against it."
    He snorted. "What purpose? They forced me to mate with married women in order to save their families." He looked up, away from her. "And I was too selfish to save my sons from this world."
    "You don't understand the bigger picture, but I do."
    "What bigger picture?" he demanded, angry. "Because I was too weak to listen to the suffering cries of a few people, many more have suffered."
    "And even more have been saved." When she felt a response boiling up in him, she shook her head. "No. Don't speak, don't argue, just listen." She sat down and patted the ground. He sat beside her, and she took his hand in hers. "I see the entire picture from a less biased point of view. So let me tell you how I see these events."
    She gathered her thoughts for a time. "Thanatos blames you for his mother's suffering, but not for his own. You regret bringing him into the world to suffer, but he doesn't. And the world is better off because the gargoyles are in it." He made to speak again and she squeezed his hand. "Wait, I'm not finished. Who would  protect the werewolves while they are gone each