Free Running Blind by Shirlee McCoy Page A

pole with her as she crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed.
    â€œWhat would you be thinking about?” he asked, even though he knew. She’d be thinking about the cancer coming back, about fighting the battle she’d won all over again. And maybe she’d be thinking that the next battle might be one she couldn’t win.
    â€œAbout how much my head hurts and about how much I don’t want to spend the night in this room.” Her skin was pale to the point of translucence, her freckles standing out in stark contrast. Deep red hair fell to her collar, the thick straight strands angling toward her jaw. Had she lost her hair during chemo? Her eyelashes and eyebrows? If so, had she worn a wig or had she painted art on her bald head and flaunted it for all the world to see? Nikolai imagined she’d done the latter. Could almost picture her, bald and beautiful, her head covered with colorful artwork.
    â€œWill you be staying?”
    â€œIf the doctors and my family have their way. Unfortunately, I don’t plan on falling in line and doing what everyone wants.”
    â€œIf you did, I’d be disappointed.”
    She looked up and met his eyes, smiling for the first time since he’d entered the room. “Yeah?”
    â€œYou’re a fighter. Why should you stop fighting now?”
    â€œFunny, I was thinking the opposite before you walked in. I was thinking that maybe I should stop fighting and just let whatever is going to happen, happen.”
    â€œIf you did that you wouldn’t just disappoint me, you’d disappoint yourself.”
    â€œMaybe, or maybe I’d just be relieved.” She smiled again, her lips colorless, her hand shaking as she brushed hair from her cheek.
    â€œYour brother told me about the cancer, Jenna. Is that whatyou’re afraid of? Or are you afraid that the man who shot at you will try again?”
    â€œNeither. And both. I know that whatever happens is in God’s hands, and I know that I have nothing to fear, but I’ve just gotten my life back. I don’t want to lose it again.” She fiddled with the hem of her shirt, refusing to meet his eyes.
    And Nikolai felt the same burning need to protect that he’d felt when he was a kid trying to keep his small and broken family together.
    He reached out, tucking strands of silky hair behind Jenna’s ear. “You won’t lose it. I’ll make sure of that.”
    She laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. “Do you really think it’s up to you?”
    â€œInasmuch as I’m able, I’ll keep you safe.”
    â€œI appreciate the thought, but it isn’t necessary. As soon as the doctor clears me to leave, I’m getting on a plane and I’m going home. There’s nothing more I can do here anyway. Magdalena is gone. Her husband seems content to let his parents help Benjamin heal.”
    â€œWhat about the Panthers?”
    She shrugged. “I doubt they’re so determined to kill me that they’ll follow me all the way to Washington.”
    â€œThey followed you here.”
    â€œStrange, don’t you think? I was tied up and completely helpless, and they let me live. Now, they’re trying to kill me. Why?” she asked as she rubbed her forehead.
    â€œI’ve been wondering the same thing.”
    â€œAnd?”
    â€œI don’t have an answer, but I plan to get one.”
    â€œLet me know if you do, because I’m coming up blank.” She closed her eyes, deep red lashes lying against pale skin.
    â€œWe can talk about this another time. Why don’t you lie down and rest for a while?”
    â€œRest while my family and the doctors make plans about my treatment and discuss my diagnosis? I don’t think so.” But she didn’t open her eyes.
    Nikolai pulled a blanket from the end of the bed, and draped it over her, tucking it around her shoulders, his knuckles brushing her neck and