‘thank you,’ shuffled up to his warm body and then, with the bedroom swirling about her, become awash with guilt. She didn’t think her actions that evening would go down as her best; she had told him she would behave and her gallivanting had been shameless.
Would he spank her? The thought had drifted into her befuddled mind as she fell asleep. Waking up, with Rick already in the shower, she had not overcome the guilt and shame of being drunk. Her friends had even shunned her towards the end of the evening; the recollection came back in her sobriety. Hiding under the sheets, she pretended to be asleep. It was an unconscious act at first, then she understood why she had to be late that morning. She needed him to spank her. The realisation dawned on her overhung mind and took root. But why did she want him to punish her?
Punishment. She used the word in her head and then dismissed it. It wasn’t what she sought from Rick. The idea was humiliating, being spanked like a naughty child. She was an adult, she should be able to correct her own attitudes and behaviours. She could, she knew she could, if she put her mind to it. She had survived three years at university without Rick keeping an eye on her.
It meant some other deep need had to be met. Trying to describe it, put logic and rational reasons to her jumbled-up meanderings didn’t work. Climbing out of bed, she decided it was not down to her. If Rick believed she deserved to be spanked, then so be it. If not, she would find her own way to show remorse for her behaviour.
Sex would be a good offering. Over the past two weeks it had been an amazing revelation. Orgasms galore, pussy licked out, cock sucked, and her insatiable lust to learn how to be the best in bed had kept them busy.
There had been the contraceptive discussion and Leah had been embarrassed to admit she was on the pill, which led to her talking about her previous bedfellows, all students: two one-night stands and a three-month boyfriend who cheated on her and left her uninterested in men for a considerable time.
She had confessed to being ashamed at the way she lost her virginity. “I was a little drunk,” she had said, pulling a face.
Rick had kissed her forehead and simply said, “What’s done is done. Don’t worry about it. However, this drinking, it has to be controlled. You haven’t done drugs, have you?” he had asked abruptly.
They both knew the clubs and pubs were increasingly used to push the latest concoctions. “No, absolutely not,” she had said with conviction. “I may be thoughtless, but I’m not idiotic.”
She had forgotten to ask Rick about his experiences, but she was convinced the man had no bad habits and there was no way he would become mixed up in drugs.
Neither of them said anything of substance in the car on the way to Littlewoods. No mention of spankings. It only made Leah feel worse, not better. The winter mornings were finally ending, no more driving to work in semi-darkness. Soon there would be spring, and she would be able to spend time outdoors. Long evenings of sunlight, and she hoped it would keep her out of the clubs; those places were a magnet for her need to unwind and forget her troubles, her lost parents—she couldn’t help but be drawn to the bars. The swinging sixties were in their last year, Merseybeat had passed its prime. She had to move on. Somehow.
* * *
His hand itched all day to spank her. To take her over his knee and see her pale bottom turn a shade of red. He hadn’t intended to enjoy spanking her. Having witnessed a few gruesome beatings at his army schools, he had never seen corporal punishment as erotic or pleasurable. How could he explain to her the way he felt?
At the same time, he did want her to understand he expected better from her. Now that they were lovers—something he could not believe in the cold light of day—she would have to remember that she should conform to his wishes. It was how his old-fashioned father