Free Playing with Fire (Skulduggery Pleasant, Book 2) by Derek Landy Page A
Authors: Derek Landy
dead."
107
"There were loads of people at your funeral," Valkyrie said. "Lots of people crying, saying how great you were, saying how much you'll be missed."
Echo-Gordon digested this, and nodded. "I will be missed. And I was pretty great." His face suddenly turned sour. "Was Beryl there?"
Valkyrie laughed. "Yes she was, and she was doing her best to squeeze out some tears and get all the sympathy."
"Never liked that woman. I always thought Fergus could do better. Not much better, mind you-- the man has the personality of a wet towel. But anyone would be better than Beryl. Oh, Gordon left them a boat in the will, didn't he? How did they like that?"
"Fergus went all quiet and Beryl started squeaking."
Echo-Gordon laughed and clapped his hands. "Oh, I wish I could have been there. That would have certainly been something to see. We have some family, eh?"
"You're telling me. In fact, there's a family-reunion tomorrow night."
"Really? Oh, that's wonderful! Will you bring me?"
108
"Uh, what? Gordon, you're dead."
"Just put the Stone in your pocket, then leave me in an empty room so I can gaze out at all the Edgleys and laugh. Or maybe I'll pretend to be a ghost, and haunt Beryl."
"That's incredibly mature of you, but I don't think I'll be going. Saving the world tomorrow night."
"Ah, of course. But if you change your mind."
She grinned. "I'll bring you, I promise. So, what is this room? What are all these things?"
All of a sudden his chest puffed out. "These, my dear niece, are objects of great magical and historical relevance. The items you see on the shelves around you are so rare, many a collector would kill to get their hands on them. And I mean that, quite seriously. There is a woman-- "
"China Sorrows?"
"You've met her, then. Yes, China. If she knew about the existence of this little hoard, she would stop at nothing to get it."
"Probably wouldn't be a good idea to mention it to her, then."
"You know, I was in love with her for quite some time."
109
"Everyone's in love with China."
"Ah yes, but my love was stronger, and true. I think she knew that, and I think, in her own way, she loved me as much as I loved her. Or, loved Gordon as much as he loved . . . no, as much as I loved . . . she loved Gordon as much as I loved her. Or something."
"Are . . . are you sure you're okay?"
"Just having a small existential crisis, nothing to worry about." He paused, seemed to reflect for a moment, and then brightened. "So Skulduggery has taken you under his wing, has he? You'll be safe with him. He's one of the good guys."
"Yes, he is. I'm learning all kinds of magic, and he's teaching me to fight.... It's dangerous, but I'm having a great time."
"I used to help him out on a few cases, you know. Nothing big, just a few mysteries every now and then. I wasn't really a throwing-punches kind of action hero, though. I was more into the research, tracking down things, people. So what are you working on now?"
"We're trying to track down this nut job who escaped from prison, Baron Vengeous."
"Vengeous?" Echo-Gordon said. "He's out?"
110
"We think he wants to bring the Grotesquery to life."
Echo-Gordon's eyes bulged. "The Grotesquery? That is quite unfair! I've been meaning to write a book about that whole thing, and now I'm dead!"
"That is very unfair," she said, nodding in agreement. "So do you know anything about it?"
"A little, I suppose. I don't have any books about it, but I know that it was put together from bits and pieces of some quite impressive creatures. I didn't think it was possible to bring it to life, though."
"We're trying to figure that out too."
Echo-Gordon shook his head in awe. "Astounding. Genuinely astounding. It's got a stinger, apparently, from a Helaquin, and parts of a Shibbach were grafted on. From what I've read, Baron Vengeous had to rearrange its insides entirely, give it a whole new set of internal organs. The heart he gave it, from a Cu Gealach, is on the right side, and lower than
107
"There were loads of people at your funeral," Valkyrie said. "Lots of people crying, saying how great you were, saying how much you'll be missed."
Echo-Gordon digested this, and nodded. "I will be missed. And I was pretty great." His face suddenly turned sour. "Was Beryl there?"
Valkyrie laughed. "Yes she was, and she was doing her best to squeeze out some tears and get all the sympathy."
"Never liked that woman. I always thought Fergus could do better. Not much better, mind you-- the man has the personality of a wet towel. But anyone would be better than Beryl. Oh, Gordon left them a boat in the will, didn't he? How did they like that?"
"Fergus went all quiet and Beryl started squeaking."
Echo-Gordon laughed and clapped his hands. "Oh, I wish I could have been there. That would have certainly been something to see. We have some family, eh?"
"You're telling me. In fact, there's a family-reunion tomorrow night."
"Really? Oh, that's wonderful! Will you bring me?"
108
"Uh, what? Gordon, you're dead."
"Just put the Stone in your pocket, then leave me in an empty room so I can gaze out at all the Edgleys and laugh. Or maybe I'll pretend to be a ghost, and haunt Beryl."
"That's incredibly mature of you, but I don't think I'll be going. Saving the world tomorrow night."
"Ah, of course. But if you change your mind."
She grinned. "I'll bring you, I promise. So, what is this room? What are all these things?"
All of a sudden his chest puffed out. "These, my dear niece, are objects of great magical and historical relevance. The items you see on the shelves around you are so rare, many a collector would kill to get their hands on them. And I mean that, quite seriously. There is a woman-- "
"China Sorrows?"
"You've met her, then. Yes, China. If she knew about the existence of this little hoard, she would stop at nothing to get it."
"Probably wouldn't be a good idea to mention it to her, then."
"You know, I was in love with her for quite some time."
109
"Everyone's in love with China."
"Ah yes, but my love was stronger, and true. I think she knew that, and I think, in her own way, she loved me as much as I loved her. Or, loved Gordon as much as he loved . . . no, as much as I loved . . . she loved Gordon as much as I loved her. Or something."
"Are . . . are you sure you're okay?"
"Just having a small existential crisis, nothing to worry about." He paused, seemed to reflect for a moment, and then brightened. "So Skulduggery has taken you under his wing, has he? You'll be safe with him. He's one of the good guys."
"Yes, he is. I'm learning all kinds of magic, and he's teaching me to fight.... It's dangerous, but I'm having a great time."
"I used to help him out on a few cases, you know. Nothing big, just a few mysteries every now and then. I wasn't really a throwing-punches kind of action hero, though. I was more into the research, tracking down things, people. So what are you working on now?"
"We're trying to track down this nut job who escaped from prison, Baron Vengeous."
"Vengeous?" Echo-Gordon said. "He's out?"
110
"We think he wants to bring the Grotesquery to life."
Echo-Gordon's eyes bulged. "The Grotesquery? That is quite unfair! I've been meaning to write a book about that whole thing, and now I'm dead!"
"That is very unfair," she said, nodding in agreement. "So do you know anything about it?"
"A little, I suppose. I don't have any books about it, but I know that it was put together from bits and pieces of some quite impressive creatures. I didn't think it was possible to bring it to life, though."
"We're trying to figure that out too."
Echo-Gordon shook his head in awe. "Astounding. Genuinely astounding. It's got a stinger, apparently, from a Helaquin, and parts of a Shibbach were grafted on. From what I've read, Baron Vengeous had to rearrange its insides entirely, give it a whole new set of internal organs. The heart he gave it, from a Cu Gealach, is on the right side, and lower than
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