how some things turned out.”
“Like what?”
“I started to think about Julie’s wedding dress and Sonia’s new bedroom at Phil’s house. Just stuff like that.”
“Well, sweetie, those are things that matter. I mean, they won’t end war or cure cancer or stop world hunger, but they matter. They mean something to people who mean something to us, and life is made up of these things.”
“Yeah. You’re right.”
“The little things can grind you down or they can also keep you here.” Vicky took Annabeth’s hand. “You do need some big things too, though. You know that, right?”
“Like you have Sonia?”
“And Phil, and my job here, and all the people at Open Skies who care about me. You’ll need things like this too.” She smiled. “But I can’t expect anyone to do all my work for me… I’m in therapy and I fight every day to get past what Carl did to me. That’s not Phil’s job, or Sonia’s, or Julie’s. It’s mine.”
“I have lots of work to do, don’t I?”
“Yes. That’s OK. And maybe you’ll find someone who can help you get through it, someone who will be in your corner.”
Annabeth thought about Eric, remembered how it felt for him to be thrusting inside her, his breath hot on her face as he whispered for her to come. She blushed.
Vicky saw her face. “OK, whoa. What was that?”
“What?”
“That – that thought you just had. What’s going on?”
“Uh. Well, last night? When I thought I’d be – ending it all tonight? I… ummm. I spent the night with a man.”
Vicky gaped at her. “You what now?”
“Yeah. I invited Eric over for dinner, with the full intention of seducing him. I just wanted one last night with a man. I needed that physical contact.”
“OK, hold up. Who’s Eric?”
“The guy in the cabin across the way.”
“The dark-haired guy with the fantastic body?”
Annabeth thought of his arms and chest and cock and blushed more. She nodded.
“So, wait,” Vicky said. “ That’s what you did with what you thought was your last full night on earth? You – you climbed in to a hot man’s bed and had hours and hours of wild sex?”
“Well. It was my bed, actually.”
“Even better. That way, you don’t have to walk too far to get to your lipstick, right?”
They looked at each other and burst in to laughter.
“So,” Vicky said. “Are you planning to do something more about Eric?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Maybe tell him the truth? Give him a chance to be something more than just a one-night-stand?”
“The deal was just one night.”
Vicky shrugged. “One night can mean a lot. One night can change everything.”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“What about tonight?”
Annabeth looked puzzled. “What about it?”
“Well, you spent a year planning this, right? Saving the pills, thinking about the wine, doing research about how to get the job done right. And then tonight you just… changed your mind. A year of planning, gone, just like that.”
Annabeth thought about that. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess…”
“Listen, sweetie. You know that you need to talk to a professional about this, right?”
“I know… I should have a long time ago.”
“I go twice a week to see my therapist, Francine Cabott. If you want, I can have her come here tomorrow and talk to you.”
“Do you think she would?”
“Yes. I also think you should stay right here at the ranch. Be honest and talk to us. Let us be here for you.”
Annabeth’s eyes filled with tears. “Everyone is going to be so, so angry with me.”
“Maybe at first. You have to let them be shocked and hurt, you know… it’s going to scare them that you were planning all of this right in front of us and nobody stopped you. They’re going to be just at angry at themselves as they are at you, I promise you. But then, they’ll help. These are good people – they’ll do whatever you need.”
“You think so?”
There was a knock at the door then and Annabeth