Free Dirty Rocker Boys by Bobbie Brown, Caroline Ryder Page B

noticed that no one, absolutely no one, seemed to care about the Star Search debacle. In fact, doors were opening for me in ways I had been dreaming about all my life. The only door closing was on Matthew and me.
    Unbeknownst to me, both Gunnar and his record label had been putting pressure on Matthew to break up with me. They feared my influence on him. I was opinionated, and if I didn’t like Matthew’s stage clothes, I would tell him, and he would listen. If I didn’t like a song, I would say so, and Matthew would bring it up with Gunnar. Which made Gunnar very nervous—the whole point of Nelson was that they were hair metal angels who matched . The last thing he needed was a Southern-fried Yoko Ono on his hands, messing with the program. Gunnar set about edging me out by making me feel as uncomfortable as possible.
    Gunnar was constantly trying to initiate a threesome, for example, with me, him, and his brother. Thankfully, Matthew said no and stood his ground. They had had three-ways togetherin the past, but when it came to me, Matthew wasn’t sharing. Even if he had been interested, I had told Matthew about my creepy almost ménage à trois with Steve and the lesbian, and had already made it clear I was not in the market for group sex. So Gunnar came up with other ways to try my patience. He would call me to come in his bedroom, and I’d walk in to find him naked on the bed. His girlfriend Laurel would casually walk in on me and take off her top. One night, the four of us were watching a movie when Laurel climbed on top of Gunnar and took all her clothes off. Then Gunnar started fingerbanging her, like, no biggie. I nudged Matthew in disbelief.
    “Why are we okay with this?” I whispered. “Should we leave? What the fuck!”
    I got up, left the room, and got in the shower. The bathroom was the only place I felt safe.
    “Hey, you better quit eating all that cherry pie, Bobbie, you’re getting fat.”
    Gunnar had burst in on me and was ogling my body.
    “Get the fuck out of here, Gunnar!” I screamed.
    Eventually, I knew I’d have to tell Matthew about his twin brother’s behavior. I dreaded the conversation. To make things worse, it seemed like we couldn’t escape “Cherry Pie.”
    “And here we go again!” Matthew would half laugh, as the song came on the car radio for the millionth time that day. Deep down I knew he was threatened by Warrant’s success, and my connection to it. Then Jani really threw a spanner in the works.
    My agent called me, sounding half frantic, half amused. “Um, did you tune into The Howard Stern Show today, Bobbie?”
    “No. Why?”
    “Well, Warrant were on the show, and Jani was talking about you.”
    “What did he say?”
    “He said he didn’t care who Matthew Nelson thinks he is, because he is in love with you and is going to marry you. Mr. Cherry Pie wants his Mrs. Cherry Pie, Bobbie.”
    I couldn’t believe Jani—surely this had to be a joke. Right? Reluctantly, I told Matthew, before he found out from someone else.
    “Ugh. Why would Jani say something like that?” he asked, looking sad. Gunnar was more direct.
    “Why don’t you just fuck Jani already and put him out of his misery? Unless you already have, that is!” Some days, I really hated Gunnar. It felt like he didn’t want his brother to be happy.
    It was true that Jani had been calling me a lot. Sometimes I would come home from work to find him hanging out with my roommate at our apartment. As soon as I walked in the room, all his attention would be focused on me. It was obvious he had a crush, and it was a little awkward—but now, with this radio shit, I had to put a stop to his flirting before people started getting the wrong idea. The next time Jani called me, I told him to lose my number. I reminded him that I already had a boyfriend. “I have your number, and I will use it if I want to, Jani.” He was crushed.
BOBBIE, MEET PAMELA
    “Hey, Bobbie, check out Star magazine; you’re in it!”