Free Mindswap by Robert Sheckley Page A

they would be sure to find us.'
    Suddenly, the ganzer egg spoke up. 'Come now, perhaps it isn't as hopeless as you think!'
    'What do you mean?'Marvin asked.
    'Well now,' the ganzer egg said, dimpling with pleasure, 'it seems to me that one good turn deserves another. I could get into plenty of hot water for this … But to hell with that. I think I can find a way off this planet for both of you.'
    Both Marvin and Otis broke into exclamations of gratitude; but the ganzer egg stopped them at once.
    'Maybe you won't thank me when you see what lies ahead,' he said ominously.
    'Nothing could be worse than this,' Otis said.
    'You'd be surprised,' the ganzer egg said flatly. 'You might be very surprised … This way, gentlemen.'
    'But where are we going?' Marvin asked.
    'I'm taking you to meet the Hermit,' the ganzer egg replied, and would say no more. He rolled purposefully away, and Marvin and Otis followed.

Chapter 13
    Through the rain forest wild and free of Ganzer (or Melde, depending upon your point of view), they marched and rolled, ever alert for danger. But no creature menaced them, and they came at last to a clearing in the forest. They saw a rude hut in the centre of that clearing, and a humanoform creature dressed all in rags, squatting in front of the hut.
    'That is the Hermit,' said the ganzer egg. 'He's quite insane.'
    The two Terrans had no time in which to consider that information. The Hermit arose and cried, 'Now stand, hold, halt! Reveal yourselves to my understanding!'
    'I'm Marvin Flynn,' Marvin said, 'and this is my friend Otis Dagobert. We want to escape from this planet.'
    The Hermit didn't seem to hear them; he stroked his long beard and gazed thoughtfully at the treetops. In low, sombre tones, he said:
    'Ere this moment came, a flight of geese
    Passed low o'erhead, presaging woe;
    The refuge and disconsolate owl did pass
    This hid'n' place of mine, bereft
    Of that which nature freely gives but man denies!
    The stars are silent when they light our home:
    The trees themselves proclaim the flight of kings.'
    'He means,' the ganzer egg said, 'that he had a feeling you'd be coming this way.'
    'Is he crazy or something?' Otis asked. 'The way he talks-'
    'Now rede me this! I'll have no plattering roth
    To creep between the interstices of a mind
    Proclaiming treason.'
    The Hermit said.
    'He doesn't want you to whisper to each other.' the ganzer egg translated. 'It makes him suspicious.'
    'I could figure that much out for myself,' Flynn said.
    'So go screw yourself.' the ganzer egg said. 'I was just trying to be helpful.'
    The Hermit advanced several paces, halted, and said:
    'What wot ye here aroon?'
    Marvin looked at the ganzer egg, who remained obstinately silent. So, guessing at the meaning of the words, Marvin said, 'Sir, we are trying to escape from this planet, and we have come to you for help.'
    The Hermit shook his head and said:
    'What barbrous tongue is this? A thick-mouthed sheep
    Would clothe his meaning in a sound more clear!'
    'What does he mean?'Marvin asked.
    'You're so smart, figure it out for yourself,' the ganzer egg said.
    'I'm sorry if I insulted you.' Marvin said.
    'Forget it, forget it.'
    'I really am sorry. I'd appreciate it if you'd translate for us.'
    'All right,' the ganzer egg said, still a little sulkily. 'He says he doesn't understand you.'
    'He doesn't? But what I said to him was clear enough.'
    'Not to him,' the ganzer egg said. 'You want to reach him, you'd better put it in metre.'
    'Me? I couldn't!' Marvin said, with that instinctual shudder of revulsion which all intelligent Terran males feel at the though of verse. 'I simply couldn't! Otis, maybe you-'
    'Not me!' Otis said, alarmed. 'What do you think I am? A fag?'
    'A silence swells and grows; yet honest men
    Speak bold, with well-formed mouth! Melikes it not
    What this development portends.'
    'He's getting edgy,' the ganzer egg said. 'You better have a shot at it.'
    'Perhaps you could do it for us,' Otis suggested.
    'I'm no