Ms. Krup Cracks Me Up!

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Authors: Dan Gutman
you. But you have to read the next chapter. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you!

4
Wild Yak Attack
    It was a candy machine!
    â€œWe want candy!” everybody started chanting. “We want candy!”
    All the grown-ups came running over from wherever they were drinking coffee and talking about the weather.
    â€œWe’re not here to eat candy,” Mr. Docker told us. “We’re here to learn about dinosaurs and natural history.”
    â€œI could learn a lot more about dinosaurs and natural history if I had candy,” I told him.
    â€œNo!”

    Sheesh, what an old grouch! Mr. Docker probably knows a lot about dinosaurs because they were around when he was a kid.
    We were all grumbling about the candy when I suddenly noticed something out of the corner of my eye. It was even more amazing than a candy machine. It was a big, brown, hairy animal with horns and a hump on its back! It was standing very still right next to us.
    â€œWhat’s that?!” Neil the nude kid asked.
    â€œI don’t know,” said Mrs. Daisy, who doesn’t know anything.
    â€œIt’s a wild yak!” said Andrea, whoknows everything. “I learned about it in my encyclopedia. Yaks live in Tibet.”
    â€œThat yak wasn’t here a minute ago,” said Michael.
    â€œMaybe it just walked over,” said Emily.
    â€œIt can’t walk over, dumbhead,” I said. “It’s dead.”
    Emily looked like she was going to cry. That girl will cry over any old thing.
    â€œHey, I think that wild yak just moved,” said Neil the nude kid.

    â€œIt didn’t move,” I told him. “It’s stuffed, just like the bear.”
    But just then the yak let out a weird yak sound.
    â€œAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” yelled all the boys.
    â€œEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!” yelled all the girls.
    I thought I was gonna die. Everybody was freaking out. That’s when the wild yak threw off its wild yak fur. And do you know what was underneath?
    A lady!
    She had glasses, dark hair, and a pointy nose. On her belt were a walkie-talkie and a flashlight.
    â€œYou must be the students from Ella Mentry School!” said the lady. “My name is Ms. Krup. I’ll be your tour guide this evening.”
    â€œI almost peed my pants!” said Ryan.
    â€œSorry I scared you,” Ms. Krup said. “I’m just so excited that you came to spend the evening with me in the museum. We’re going to have so much fun!”
    â€œWhy are you wearing a wild yak fur?” asked Andrea.
    â€œWell, the wild yak wasn’t using it anymore,” said Ms. Krup. “So I thought I would.”
    That Ms. Krup lady is weird.
    Suddenly, the lights dimmed. “Themuseum is now closed,” somebody announced.

    It was a little scary in the dark.
    Ms. Krup turned on her flashlight. We all gathered around her.
    â€œThe museum is a magical place at night,” she whispered as she gave each of us a name tag. “I’m going to take you on a journey. We’re going to encounter some amazing creatures and see some incrediblethings. If you listen carefully, you can almost hear the sounds of the jungle, the forest, the desert, the mountains, and the ocean.”
    â€œI don’t hear anything,” I said.
    â€œShe said almost , dumbhead,” Andrea told me.
    â€œWell, either you hear something or you don’t,” I said. “You can’t almost hear something.”
    â€œI wish I didn’t hear you , Arlo.”
    I was going to say something mean to Andrea, but I didn’t get the chance because a loud BLEEP came out of Ms. Krup’s walkie-talkie. We all jumped.
    â€œMs. Krup!” a voice said. “ Tyrannosaurus rex is missing!”
    â€œI’m on it, Chief!” said Ms. Krup. “Kids, we’ve got to find Rexy! Are you ready to go on an adventure?”
    â€œYes!” said all the girls.
    â€œCan we kill it?” asked all the

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