Free Inbox Full of Crazy by Chris-Rachael Oseland Page A

guys with
a random grasp of punctuation, but they generally got points for trying. Better
yet, there were some great responses from guys who took it seriously when I
told them grammar was sexy.

In case you're wondering why I'm still single, sadly
a lot of these guys were 20+ years my senior. A lot more were married. But a
few turned into great first dates, a couple resulted in short relationships,
and a rare handful are still friends today. Sorry, people who say I should hide
my geekiness. You're wrong.

A few of you might raise an eyebrow when I say some
are still friends. Here's a big secret about dating sites. Sometimes you meet
someone who would make a great friend if the pair of you met at a party, but
you can tell early on there's absolutely no attraction. Most people shrug,
consider the evening a failure, and go home to mope about the fact that there
aren't any good ones left. Smart people take a deep breath, summon all their
courage, and find a gentle way to say "Hey, you're really awesome. I wish
we met at a party, because you're someone I'd really enjoy hanging out with. It
sucks that we met on what's supposed to be a date." If you're lucky,
they'll be totally relieved (c'mon, admit it. You can tell when someone else
isn't attracted to you.) Suddenly, you're on the same side. Dating sucks,
you're both single, and you have a new buddy who can sympathize with what
you're going through without any pressure to hook up. I've had plenty of guys
let me know I'm nice and all, but way too loud and bold for them to manage
anything more than a half mast chub. Thanks for taking the pressure off.

Those conversations are awesome. If you've never had
one, you're missing out on the best part of online dating. Okay, the second
best. It's still pretty darn nifty, though.  

Once I re-geeked my profile, here’s what men had to
say to an alleged criminal mastermind seeking a partner in crime.
    ~*~
    My bonnie will have enough balls to buttstroke an unsuspecting security guard
in the forehead without hesitation. She will command all hostages to toss their
phones into the bright red L.L. Bean backpack and carry an army dufflebag full
of loot in our getaway. and most certainly will not snitch on her clyde.
    ~*~
    A nice motorcycle ride, and then dinner and a nice bottle of wine, and maybe 9-1-half hours later could turn
into 9-1-half weeks
    ~*~
    |your the redhead now I am to do what ever you say ba bwa ha ha ha
    ~*~
    Well i have the maniacal laugh part down pat . However I'm still working on my lair.I am border line ready
to set my plan for world domination into motion . We should check notes . So
that we don,t mess each others plots up...
    ~*~
    I just wanted to say that your profile is the greatest read I've ever seen on a
dating website. You have such a great joy of life. And, a little geekiness is a
very attractive quality. I'm not sure that we are a match, but I was really
drawn to the things you wrote. So here are my answers:

My plan for world domination is to lull everyone into
a false sense of complacency. Is there a passive-aggressive way to take over
the world? I'm not really into riches and power, but world peace would be nice.
So, I would have to rule the world for its own good.

My ideal lair would be a nice condo in the city.
Sorry, but The Emperor of the World should not have to mow the lawn. This lair
must be within a block or two of a nice coffee shop. The Emperor should not
have to fight traffic for a mocha. And by nice, I mean somewhere with free
wi-fi and couches you can sit in all day long and watch your subjects walk by.

My ideal partner in crime would not be evil. Maybe
she could be the more misunderstood type. Anyway, kindness, joy, and wit are
important qualities in a partner in crime (when they aren't trying to take over
the world).
    ~*~
    Mwa ha ha ha !

Maniacal enough for 'ya? LOL

Hope all is well. I'm new to Okcupid as well and
would love to talk sometime. Besides, hatching evil plans is best done